Freshwater

Akawaeki Emezi's 'Freshwater' is a lyrical and playful book told from shifting first person accounts that explores the internal life of protagonist Ada as she tries to contend with the many voices in her head coming from non-human, spiritual entities. The book is about Ada's journey with these forces within her and questions whether Ada will be able to overcome them and accept who she truly is. The book reminded me a lot of the IFS therapeutic model that makes space for all the different 'parts' of a person, with the 'Self' being the regulator of this system and the powerful force within. This is a book of resistance because it pushes back on western pathologization of mental illness and creates a necessary space for marginalized realities. Grateful to have read Emezi and very curious to read more of them in the future.

If only we could blame our misdeeds on the gods. Emezi does.Gods enter the body of a soon-to-be-born girl, who will be named in honor of the egg of a python. But other gods make a mistake. The doors to the spirit world are left open. “Perhaps the gods forgot; they can be absentminded like that. Not maliciously—at least, not usually. But these are gods, after all, and they don’t care about what happens to flesh…” So instead of becoming fully the little girl, whom they call the Ada, child of the god Ala, the gods can remember their other world. They are aware they are in a human body.Before Christianity, “it was well known that the python was sacred, beyond reptile. It is the source of the stream, the flesh form of the god Ala, who is the earth herself, the judge and mother, the giver of law.” The Ada is a child of Ala.These gods are the “brief insanities” that you are born with. They are loyal to the other side. To rid them from the Ada, would be to kill her.By the time she is 16, the Ada is cutting herself. She moves on to a scalpel while attending veterinary school at 20-years old. It appears the Ada has gone crazy, but it in reality “she was contaminated with us, a godly parasite with many heads, roaring inside the marble room of her mind.” She uses her blood to feed the gods.The Ada is sexually abused. She becomes promiscuous. But again, this is not the human Ada. This is another god who has taken over her body. “Ada was never there when there was a bed. If I made sure of anything in my short life till then, I made sure of that.” The Ada has no memories of sexual abuse.She becomes anorexic. Again, the fault of a devious god.On the outside, the Ada goes completely mad.The novel explores faith, redemption, and resurrection. Mostly, gods or not, it’s a novel about whether a young woman can forgive herself for the things she’s experienced, the things she’s done because of those experiences.The story is beautiful. I was reminded of the saying “the devil made me do it” but not in a funny way. What if we are born with demons in us that we must cast out?The novel begs for comparisons with various psychological states. Are we really disassociating or is a god protecting us from comprehending the violence we’re enduring?Freshwater is truly a fascinating novel. I appreciated the ending. I was afraid it was proselytizing but it didn’t, except in the sense that everyone needs to find their own god.

Ill conceived autobiography. I don't get why it has all the 4 and 5 star ratings. If I could, I would have asked for a refund. The book was not ready for publishing. With a good edit job and formatting rework - it might help. Author does state in an interview that some chapters were copy-pasted straight out of their journal.I am familiar with mental illness and have had friendship with a schizophrenic. This reads as word salad. This book is the gibberish of psychosis. The stereotypical God complex, delusions of grandeur, narcissism, D.I.D., - all of these terms are familiar in the mental health world but the "We" are treated as if it's a special secret fairy tale existence. No responsibility, and no reasoning of thought process. The timeline jumps all over with little to no explanation. It becomes very tiresome and frustrating.We do learn certain specific details that focus in at times, as if in moments of clarity, but there is no understanding why we learn some and not others. For example: we learn that Ada is a GREAT student, so much so, they are the student body president and 3 years younger than the rest of their class. We also learn that they have a sexual reassignment surgery via saving up student loan advances (?). We have no idea if or how this person even earns a living to afford a household, food, and being able to maintain the never ending barhopping/sexual romping. In the meantime the rest of the book is nothing more unusual than a typical college student narcissist rotating from one sex partner to another. There is trauma but nothing that explains any kind of reaching a balanced healthful place.While I do believe that certain passages are mildly poetic and spot on in describing what it feels like to be engulfed with mental illness, I don't think this writing deserves the merit it was given as it's all over the place with no rhyme or reason. The author comes off as self indulgent to the point of cringe worthiness. Maybe that was the point, but It was really hard for me not to skim over the repetitive pompous prose and glorification of psychosis, untranslated chapter headers - presuming the audience would understand - or possibly this was an attempt at creating some kind of credibility since the author has "stunted" fluency in Igbo.I really felt pity for this writer at times, and for those who were a part of their life. It was difficult to follow since I had disdain for all the characters in central focus and felt outrage for the people subjected to the author's over inflated ego. I found myself rolling my eyes so often I couldn't read any further. Perhaps this is some kind of token book, I've no idea. Nothing has validity other than the 'mystical' mind of a very ill subject. If this book was finished, as it should be with professional guidance, then I may rethink this review. *edited with respect of the author's 'pronoun of choice' identification*

This novel was introduced to me by a new friend, how she knew I would relate is mind boggling on so many levels. I saw so much of myself that it became scary at times, as if someone was telling my hidden truths. I highly recommend everyone to read this at least twice to fully encompass the storyline & writing style. There were numerous triggers for me in reading this novel but it was refreshing to know I wasn't alone in life challenges I couldn't control. I'm aware that is was "fiction" but it told so many of my truths. I personally saw this as a self-help read. Thank you for telling this tale & staying true to your passion! Ase.

The best word to describe my reaction is interesting. I have never read a book narrated by the gods or spirits which inhabit the lead character before. There are many of them and they take turns to narrate either as 'we' or as various individual members of the collective who come to the fore. Occasionally, there is a short section from the perspective of the host - the Ada - but these are few and far between. The African culture is another interesting layer because I have read few books set here - so I was rather disappointed when the Ada goes to college in America and it becomes more about culture clash.The major problem is that gods don't care about the impact of their behaviour on humans. So I found that I did not care much about what happened to the lead character either. So it became more an intellectual - oh that's clever - rather than an emotional read (despite a lot of dramatic and emotional content). Emezi has a habit of throwing forward to the future and this cuts down the tension too.In the second half, the events get even more bizarre and surprise lands on surprise - often when another spirit takes over (or they battle each other) and there are enough twists to keep a soap opera in plot-lines for a couple of years.In the final section, all the strands begin to come together and the Ada finally comes to the fore. The writing in this section is beautiful. Unfortunately, there are characters who float through her life, a priest, a historian and a lover who copes with a major panic attack and I would have liked to really know them better and understand their impact more.For me, ultimately it was an attempt to understand mental health problems from a uniquely African perspective, using the myths and archetypes of the Igbo people - rather than trying to get the Ada to fit into the Western model. So I am back to that word again 'interesting' - especially as it becomes clear from the thank you notes that this is a semi-autobiographical novel.I promise you that you've never read a book quite like this one before.

This is probably the most original book I've read this year. The prose is alive, frantic and urgent - I was compelled to read the whole book in one sitting. A more perfect expression of a quest to restore and heal a broken psyche I have never read. So refreshing to see such sensitive subject matter dealt with so consistently and respectfully. I don't know if it's based on the author's own experiences or pure invention but if it's the latter then it must have been incredibly detailed research. I loved it. Very impressive.

Goodness, what a complex subject, but so well crafted and an easy read. This book answered some of the spiritual and cultural questions I had on reading Yea Gyasi's Homegoing. It is also interesting to note the contacts the author had with key Nigerian authors. Spirits born with a baby conflicting in this world and in her mind. It is like a battle of good over evil. Or is it? Do these spirits help the protaganist to survive a difficult life. The path is not always straight. This is a lovely refreshing unique novel and I cannot wait for the next novel from this author. A delight to read.

I got this off a summer new book list -- and thought it would be some folklore fantasy a la Neil Gaiman. It is nothing of the sort. So instead, if you are looking for some very original storytelling style, but quite obviously full of self-biographical references and self-discovery stuff, then go for it, but most of the book gives the feeling that the writer only wrote up the life of a cooler version of herself. Not much folklore, a lot more tough-love version of Sex and the city --a long list of whom she dated while having split-personality issues.

A really interesting read. There are a few things I usually do not get on with: very literary descriptions, allegory, loose plot, religion/spirituality. This has all of these things. Despite this, I am really glad to have read it. The audio book is very well read and helped me keep momentum through dense/highly poetic sections.The use of religion/spirituality in this novel is central to the description and experience of self, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a commentary about religion per se, so if religion is not your thing (the case for me) don’t let this put you off. The struggle handling internal conflict with respect to the disparity between perceived and experienced masculinity and femininity is palpable; The use of Gods and spirit characters makes this all the more so.An excellent book I recommend persevering with.