Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost a Pet

I really liked the stories about how animals will be in the afterlife. It was very comforting to me. I also loved the poems.

Almost a year ago, I lost my remarkable rescue dog, Tallulah, after 13 years together. It was a staggering blow; one I knew would come someday, but one I never wanted to prepare for.After talking to my friends for weeks and finding it difficult to discuss how upset I was without tearing up (or bursting into tears completely, depending on how my friends reacted to the news), I found this book by chance and it really made a difference.For some time, I was "upset that I was so upset," since I had been able to process deaths of family members and move on quickly, while this one struck me as a lingering sadness. Mr. Kowalski's book made me realize that there are reasons for this reaction, and, more importantly, that they are a natural part of human emotion (SPOILER ALERT: We spend every waking moment with our pets, letting them sleep near us, watching us while we get dressed in the morning, and taking them to the mailbox with us, so, yes, it's okay to miss that presence.)I've read some reviews that fault this book for making them more upset, and I can understand why they feel that way. This is not a book that will make the hurt go away, but it is a book that will make you feel better about being upset, and will give you some comfort in knowing that there's nothing wrong with you or the grief you are feeling. We all process our grief on different timetables, but it's important to remember that it's not a race and it's okay to take all the time you need.I read this about six weeks after Tallulah left, and while it turned the waterworks on, it did so in a way that was cathartic and helpful. There's even a chapter on when to open your home up to a new pet (and that depends completely on you) that made me realize it wasn't a betrayal, but a tribute to your beloved to do so. In July, we rescued a Lab/Hound mix named Conrad, and while he won't replace our girl, I realize there's enough room in our hearts to love this little guy just as much.Our pets are a joyous part of our lives. They're steadier in their emotions than we are and accept the fact that they can build their worlds around us and ask for surprisingly little in return. This book acknowledges that whether your pet has four legs, fins, a shell, or scales, when they leave us, they leave a tremendous void that hits us hard. And it let me know that it was okay to ache, because that means they did the job they were sent to do.

Throughout my life I had the pleasure of many pets at my side, and family around me. With the loss of them, both pet and family member, I grieved the loss and managed to move on. The recent loss of my dog, Pal, has been very hard to bear. For the first time I was left alone with the decision to have him euthanized, which I handled humanely albeit with much sadness. A close friend had recommended Rev. Gary Kowalski's book to me to read, and I am still reading it through again. I found it to be closest to understanding that my decision was the kindest I could have made for my best friend, Pal.As recommended by Kowalski, I learned to heal, with time, the loss of Pal's companionship, by not avoiding the emotional pain. It hasn't been easy, but it was necessary to deal with the loss by taking care of myself first. Many people have done what I did, which was to join the local animal shelter as a volunteer, to give my time to an organization dedicated to finding homes for the homeless pets. As time went on, I found walking nature trails drew me closer to spirituality, remembering all of the beauty God has created. During the time I read the book, I enjoyed reading the historical aspects of how pet ownership evolved, as well as the many readings and poems, a chapter dedicated to how people dealt with euthanasia (the "good death"), and many insightful stories of people dealing with the death of their beloved pets.This book was well written, thought provoking yet calming. I would highly recommend this book to anyone in the process of losing of pet, or lost a pet to prepare for the healing process.

If you are reading this book, you've probably lost a pet. This is a good book about your loss and tips on how to look at that loss, how to accept the pain. Although I was crying most of the time when I read this book, the writer makes you feel better and yet walks you through the process of loss. You don't have to be religious. You don't have to believe in heaven and that your beloved pet will go there. It's more about accepting life and dealing with death, yet going on in your life. You feel you're stronger after reading this book. I liked it. No preaching. No hell and brimstone. Pets die, we cry, life goes on. A good book and I hope there's more like this out there.

This is a must read for anyone preparing for the loss of a beloved pet or having recently lost their pet. The book gently explores the process by which we grieve and provides helpful suggestions for each phase. Lovingly written by a clergyman.

My 13 1/2 year old cat - Peanut- who I had for 12 1/2 years unexpectedly passed away about a month ago. She had zero health issues - ever. I have another cat who is 16 and still going strong But I was absolutely shocked and devastated over Peanut. She was the softest, cutest, sweetest, most playful, funniest, and intelligent pet I’ve ever had. I had to take off two days from work to grieve and then realized I needed some relief from the pain. I found this book and ordered it and received it 4 days after her passing. I read most of it in two nights. It helped soooooo much. I am so grateful for it. Between that and printing out hundreds of photos of her and putting them into a photo album, it seemed like my healing process moved along pretty well. Highly recommend the book for anyone who is dealing with the loss of a pet or knows someone that is. Most friends and family members can’t offer the support needed…but this book might help them support and understand better.