In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You To Know About Adoption. A Guide for Relatives and Friends. (Mom’s Choice Award Winner)

My husband and I are in the home study phase of adoption and already we’ve had a lot of questions from family and interesting conversations that make it apparent that, naturally, they don’t know as much about modern adoption as we do, nor what to expect (makes sense…we have been researching and thinking about this for quite some time!). I read this book cover to cover in for days, highlighted parts that resonated with me and even added a few notes here and there. I very much look forward to sharing it first with my mother, then mother-in-law and we’ll see from there. Great read and resource. Thank you to the author!

This book is much needed in the adoption world. I agreed with most of the content, but there were areas where it seemed like to book was talking down to relatives of adoptive parents and I didn't like that. Very educational though and I don't think there's anything comparable on the market for friends and family of adoptive parents.

This author put together a complete book on what people should know for adoption to include the adoptive parents as well as grandparents, family and friends. I enjoyed reading it and recommend it for anyone who is adopting or having a child come into their family by way of adoption.

I am preparing to teach a breakout session at an adoption retreat about how to choose resource books for adoptive family libraries. I reviewed this book to find out if I wanted to include it in my list of recommended books. Overall, I like the idea of this book a lot! It offer GREAT points that I feel would have been helpful to share with my own family before we adopted two of our children. We've gotten several difficult comments in front of our children, or have had extended family over share because they just didn't know what's appropriate (and we should have told them). It hits on some more difficult topics, like addressing inappropriate questions, especially when asked in front of children. I also like how O'Toole helps to equip relatives and friends to answer adoption-related questions, making sure to be sensitive to the family and child's story. Although the book does touch on attachment and cocooning, I was hoping for more information about why adoptive parents often choose to "shelter" (cocoon) their new child for extended periods of time from other adults and even children. This can be difficult to understand for many people, and I think a few more pages about attachment and bonding would have been helpful. The other topic I was hoping to see but was missed was the effects of trauma, neglect, and abuse on the brain. Even children who were adopted at birth experience trauma, and many children who are adopted spend years in very neglectful, traumatic orphanages. This is very real for many adoptive families and needs to be discussed with relatives and close friends, because it can certainly affect the way we parent and discipline our children. Other than that, 4 stars for awesome content. I'll definitely be suggesting that families refer to this book for the relatives and friends!

As an adoptive parent, my wife and I have faced a number of questions. Some of them have been great (tell us about her personality) and others have been a bit more harsh, likely unintentional and just fueled by the fact that people outside the process don't have as much exposure to it all as the parents. I have seen critical reviews that the book is too short. But I would argue that the book is just right in length. It does an excellent job of conveying pertinent information about all different types of adoptions. And it accomplishes another purpose in its brevity, that the conversation and education can continue either on your own or by talking to the adoptive parents in a new way. It won't have all the answers, and I suspect that to be the point. Anyway, how could one book have all the answers? Overall: Fantastic! Wish we would of had 10 copies at the outset of adoption and that it would be mandated reading for those looking to adopt!!

While it is a challenge to write a book about a topic that has such complexity and range of experiences, I thought this book could have been a bit better.My favorite sections were: "The child's right to privacy" and some parts of the "adoption and loss" chapter. I think the author is at her best when offering advice. I particularly enjoyed some of her tips on re-imagining one's child/grandchild in terms of how adopted children take on traits of their parents and pointing out that they continue family histories. I also like her notes about how grandparents or others can reach out to their children and be supportive rather than offering horror stories about adoption.I also think the book is fairly strong in discussing transracial adoption. I do think there could be some more depth here, but what is written about the topic is good quality.I suppose this review really should be reserved for those who are in the "adoptive circle" rather than adoptive parents themselves. However, I thought some more detail about foster to adopt and childhood trauma would be helpful. While the basics are covered, there's only a short paragraph about the fact that the time to legal adoption can be much longer for foster children and that this will add stress to the situation. From another review, I see that some people feel overwhelmed by details when reading about adoption so perhaps this was the reason to be a bit more light in those sections.While the author tries to cover different avenues for adoption, I did feel like that text focuses on infant adoption. Many of the things here won't necessarily apply to those who adopt older children.

In on it is a great addition to your library - whether you are adopting or are part of the extended family/friends of someone adopting, this book is a great resource. It summarizes all the essential points within adoption in an easy to read format. This book is hands-on and practical. It's great to have said by someone else what you would like to say to your family and friends about adoption! It is a must read for anyone in the larger adoption circle!

This book was recommended to me by my daughter who is in the process of adopting. I highly recommend it! It was very insightful .

Great book

Fast read but very informative.

Just what I wanted,explained everything what I needed to know.