No: Why Kids--of All Ages--Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It

Recently, my husband and I became foster parents, and as we struggle with polishing up our rusty parenting skills, I began looking for inspiration and help. It just so happened that U.S. News and World Report had an article on this book, and I was intrigued. This book has exceeded my expectations and given me some easy-to-implement ideas and encouragement. It's so much easier to say No to your child when you know that you are doing the best thing for him or her! Walsh's chapters cover all ages, from infancy through the teen years, and there is also a chapter dealing with special needs children, whom Walsh says are "wired differently." One of my favorite chapters was "Taming the Gimmes." This chapter guides parents toward teaching children to deal with the constant onslaught of advertising and the media. It also has practical advice regarding allowance and teaching your child to share, save, and spend. At our house, we now have three jars set up to visually aide in the dividing of allowance into what is to be shared with others, what is to be saved for a long-term goal, and what can be spent for fun. Another important chapter deals with raising media-wise children. Walsh recommends limits to TV, video gaming, and computer time, while also acknowledging that children need to learn to access and use media in order to succeed in our world today. It had never occurred to me in this way, but Walsh contends that too much TV and video gaming reinforce the need for instant gratification, which of course then ties into "the gimmes." Dr. Walsh is the founder of the National Institute on Media and Family, based in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and has written several other books that I feel are likely to be inspiring and of great help to parents, given his down-to-earth writing style. The Institute also has a website, [...]. Check it out for valuable information on "building healthy families through the wise use of media."

It is easy for us parents to get caught up in saying, "yes" and giving into our kids demands. It was just easier for me to give my kids what they wanted (when reasonable). At the very least it quieted them down, for a little while. However, what this book showed me very clearly is that we have an entire culture of "Yes", "Anything you want honey" and "My child couldn't do anything wrong". It also made it very clear that this attitude, or culture is hurting our kids and making our lives miserable. Dr. David Walsh delivers a strong dose of reality in one word, "No". Incredibly he does it in such a way that children and parents can enjoy more freedom and less anxiety. It becomes perfectly clear why we parents need to hold our children to rules and make them earn respect, and delay gratification.When we give our kids everything (they think) they want it fosters attitudes of instant gratification; worse we set them up for failure and ourselves up for needless struggle and hardships. We or I also need to feel good about holding my children to higher standards and expectations, and Dr. Walsh does and excellent job of spelling that out in this book. There are many suggestions and checklists for each chapter.This book has so many great lessons and insights; too many to list in the 5 minutes I have to write this review. All I can say is that I highly recommend the book "No' to any parent and then pass it along to some parent who doesn't need it. You will understand what I mean after you read it.

I give this book to new parents in my family. My dad heard Dr. Dave talking about it and introduced me to it. It really helps you to think about how you want to parent before you're in the heat of 5he moment. Knowing brain development really helps you to be mindful of your parenting . It allowed us foster our child's independence and empathy. I highly recommend it.

This book is meant to help fortify the resolve of parents who have a hard time telling their kids,"no." The author himself obviously struggles this way, but has found it worthwhile to say "no" despite his inclinations.The book argues for balanced parenting that helps train kids to be responsible adults. The ideal is neither autocratic nor permissive. He understands the trends in culture toward rarely saying "no" to kids, and he does a good job convincing parents of this need and right.The book has its weak spots -- such as an example of a father giving his toddler son a choice of clothing (young kids need to learn to obey; choices are for older children, in my view).There are many books in the evangelical world that argue a similar case (Dobson, et al), but it is refreshing to see a secular book arrive at similar conclusions.Mostly deals with pre-teen kids (from birth on up), though there are a few good examples of teens and parental authority.All and all, a good and reasonable approach -- and a desperately needed one. Parents need to be comfortable with their authority.

I purchased two copies of this book after seeing Dr Walsh on television. I sent one copy to our daughter, who was expecting our first grandchild, and kept the other for myself, as a refresher course. After reading it, I was so impressed, I decided to get copies for my nieces and nephews, and my adult children who aren't parents yet. Dr Walsh shares the same kind of pragmatic approach to child rearing that my own parents used, but he shows us how to teach "old fashioned" values in the modern world. Every parent should read this book, and grandparents should read it as well. Raising children has always been a tough job, but never before has a parent had so much competition from outside influences. Parents, grandparents and other adult family members need to work as a team, and provide reasonable, but consistent limits.The first few chapters about the influence of media and advertising, and how they have shaped our culture and values over the last 40 years is very enlightening. They explain a lot about issues we see in the workplace with younger employees.

Good read

The book came on time and was just what I expected