Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic Paperback – November 28, 2006

This book was a complete life saver! I have a 3 1/2 year old and really needed someone to tell me that what I knew about my son was valid and things just were different for him. I even emailed the author to thank her (and she emailed back)! Here is my letter to her to help those considering buying this book understand how wonderful it is for a parent of a spirited child:For the longest time, practically since he was born, I felt like a failure as a mother. It wasn't until I read your spirited child book did I FINALLY feel like someone understood. When I began your book, I spend days crying as I read it, describing everything to my husband, mother, and best friend. It was unbelieveable that someone explained my child but made me see him in a completely different light. If you could see my book, you would see that I practically have every other page earmarked. I plan to read it a second time and highlight again what is most helpful. I truly consider it my parenting Bible.While reading your book, I finally felt that I wasn't such an evil mother. In fact, it felt so wonderful to hear that it was understandable that I, a spirited adult (and child too), would react in a particular manner. For the first time, I don't feel so much anger or embarrassment for my son's spirited behavior. While I knew he had so much of my personality and while I knew there were so many good qualities about him, it was difficult to not get upset when he just wasn't like the children of any of my friends or those at his preschool. And, while I was a spirited child, I didn't react as strongly as my son does now, at least not in public and not until I was older, where I could control my emotions a bit more. This was another reason I had a hard time understanding my son and being patient, despite my efforts at trying. It got to a point where I felt that my fuse was extremely short and I was only doing harm to my relationship with my son(not physical but there were times I felt I was just getting so upset with him, especially when his tantrums were out of this world.)Now though, while there are some days where I still get extremely frustrated and upset, I feel proud to have a spirited child. I have learned to create a 'yes' environment and this has helped our situation tremendously. I am proud to have a sensitive, determined, and persistent child. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving my family and my relationship with my son. I truly am forever indebted to you.

At 3 months old my daughter's pediatrician recommended I take a personality assessment for my little one after I was stressed about her colic, lack of sleep and inconsistent eating/sleeping patterns. This was not an easy baby, it was my first, and I had very little child experience as I was the youngest who hated babysitting other kids. The assessment came back "spirited" which was a nice word, it made me think of a colt who has not been broken yet and is spirited throwing it's head and kicking it's legs. I read the "happiest baby/toddler" books, which are wonderful, but Dr Harvy's tips don't always work for all children. As my daughter got older I did a search on Amazon for "parenting tips for spirited kids" and found this book. At first I was skeptical so I borrowed the book from the library. I voraciously ate up the pages, they were so informative and resounded so true! A lot of the tips are for older children who you can actually talk to, which is going to be very helpful as my daughter gets older so I bought the book and the workbook. I expect to use the book for many years to come. There are not a lot of tips for the under 3 year olds (mine is 19 months) but these are one of those subjects you want to be familiar with BEFORE there are problems so that you can see them sneaking up on you and nip them before they bloom. I recommend you buy it and read even for younger children. For example, sleep: at any stage of development protecting your child's sleep schedule is important but for a Spirited child it is crucial. I have also learned from this book to help my daughter with transitions before we move onto something else and we have circumvented many tantrums with this tactic. I am so looking forward to watching my perceptive, energetic, FUN little girl grow into a person who is just MORE, and I am so thankful for Kurcinka who has put her time and energy into creating this guide for us.

Thin book has really helped me with figuring out and relating to my child who is 4 and spirited. This book has been a big help in understanding her perspective and how she processes and downloads situations. The book has a series of quizzes that help you make determinations about your own personality and your child's. I liked this because it helps you to see how your personality and your child's work well together or against each other's. This is eye opening because there may be simple differences, such as you are introverted by nature but your child is extroverted by nature, that are exacerbating the behavior issues you are having with your child. Tips for relating to a child that confuses you or that you have trouble understanding are really thoughtful and positive in this book. They all aim to support the child and help the parent to diffuse situations rather than escalate them and causing everyone to become overwhelmed. I like the positive suggestions and support this book offers. It really helps to unveil some of the mystery around your child's behavior so you can see it for what it is: your child doing their best to cope with their surrounding and feelings. Some children are just more intense, plain and simple. They need our support and help navigating their emotions perhaps a little more than their siblings or other children. This book is a great read, and a reference I still turn to when needed.

My mother read the first book when I was a teenager and had mentioned before that I am spirited like both my sister and my mom herself. My sister had been to behavior specialists and a neurologist but none of them agreed on what was happening or what to do (migraines, night terrors, different disciplinary methods, etc.). For me it was trial and error of multiple different discipline (for bad behavior) or reward (for good behavior) methods, none of them worked. It lead to a very interesting childhood with my mom not knowing how to handle us.I now have a spirited child of my own and from reading this book it has made all of our lives easier, especially her calm quiet baby sister. We still have some very trying days but the information in this book has lead to less of them and they are much less traumatic!

Worth a read for parents with kids who are super energetic, senstive receptive and intelligent

To all parents of spirited kids. If you - much like me - have been desperate and looking for understanding why everything you try does not seem to work on your kid: Just read this book. It was the fifth of such educational books that I have read. Even though the others did learn me a thing or two too, 'Raising your spirited kid' totally helped me UNDERSTAND my child and taught me a TON of things. It will bring you confidence too. The style is very good and the chapters are clear with nice summaries at the end! Mostly it reads like a novel without being paternalistic. It's a shame it is not translated in other languages yet (or at least I could not find) because I would love to give it to many of my child's teachers. It's also often about using the correct vocabulary and those parts would be great in my own mother-tongue.

J'ai acheté cet ouvrage après en avoir entendu parler sur des blogs américains.Une fois dépassé les côtés très "américains", ce qui se fait facilement, j'ai trouvé dans cet ouvrage beaucoup de trucs pour améliorer mes réactions et ma panoplie de solutions face au comportement de mon fils que j'avais du mal à comprendre et à cadrer dans notre petite famille.Je l'ai lu petit à petit, et j'y ai trouvé sérénité et optimisme à un moment où je me sentais dépassée. Ce livre ne prône ni le laisser-faire, ni la punition à tout va et m'a permis de recadrer ce que je voulais vraiment atteindre en tant que parent et de mieux comprendre la violence des réactions de mon fils face à ce qui me paraissait un désagrément incroyablement mineur.J'y retourne régulièrement quand j'ai besoin d'un petit coup de boost au moral et quand j'ai du mal à trouver le juste milieu entre intégration de l'enfant dans la vie familiale et respect de son tempérament.

My younger daughter has such a very different temperament to her older sister - the latter I realise is relatively easygoing and obliging, whilst the younger one is contrary, willful, stubborn, difficult, challenging and and... SPIRITED!I was getting fed up with people (including the father) suggesting that I was pandering to her needs, treating her differently, letting her get away with things - it's true, perhaps I was, but i just knew that she couldn't be dealt with in the same way as my elder daughter, as she reacted so very differently to what seemed like such simple things, often ending in uncontrollable tears, or escalating screaming. I was at my wit's end with how to cope, but on a convoluted cyber path, i came across this book and i haven't looked further.As soon as I received it, I read the book from cover to cover - it was like I had found a soulmate on this matter. The more I read, the more I found myself recognising behaviour and situations we had found ourselves in - it resonated more than anything I'd come across until then, and since then. It offered explanations, case studies and, importantly, possible solutions - not definitive answers, but things that could help. And how they have helped, from mealtimes to social behaviour, bedtimes to props, this book has helped us to crack so much of what was before such a mystery.I found the section on Introvert vs Extrovert particularly enlightening, as it taught us not only that our spirited daughter is an introvert in terms of how she recharges her energy levels (ie. requiring space and time alone to potter and play - which hitherto hadn't much happened what with school, park playtimes and a sister always around), whilst the older sister came out as a clear extrovert (requiring company of others to recharge her batteries - which explained why she often seemed to be winding up her sister as she'd bug her to play together or always wanted to do stuff with us - not a personal space invader, just someone who loves and needs company). I'd just never thought of it in these terms, but now we accommodate their introvert/extrovert needs into our day to day, as well as occasions, and more importantly, we tolerate their relative behaviours much better.I now keep the book by my bed as my ultimate reference book on my subject of how to deal with my younger daughter. I have cited so many success stories from using the book to both husband and grandparents, that they too have come around to the fact that it is OK to take on board the very different personalities, temperaments, behaviours etc that our 2 daughters have, and to treat them or at least communicate with them in different ways where necessary, We don't favour one over the other, but we have learned to pre-empt the reactions of our more spirited child and she is much calmer as a result, which is so much better for her, but of course for all of us too.I have recommended this book to so many people, and I know that they too have been amazed by how poignant, useful and reassuring it has been for their own spirited kids.PS: I must admit, I didn't really like the term 'spirited' (albeit preferable to some of the negative and derogatory adjectives used to describe 'challenging' behaviour), but I could never think of anything better that encapsulates what these amazing creatures are, and so, I have grown to like it!