When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal

I would give this book 10 stars if I could. I love the author's no nonsense, no excuses style of writing.I bought two copies of this book - one for myself and one for my sister. The reason I bought it is because my sister is in a marriage full of lies & infidelity and I wanted to understand why she stays in the marriage. It did help me to see that she sees everything through rose colored glasses and is in major denial because all her hopes and dreams have been shattered therefore she has to cling to something!Before I read this book I thought that my sister's situation was unique, that she & her husband wouldn't fit into any category. Boy, was I wrong! I was completely amazed that all these liars fit into neat little categories. My brother-in-law is "the confessor" and uses "the insanity defense" as his excuses for lying and cheating. I could not believe that I was reading about their life in this book! Even the things that my sister tells us (her family) is in there (i.e. no one else understands, no one knows him like I do, etc., etc.) It's all in there!!What I love most about this book is once you read it, you will never again be able to fall for his lies again! It opens your eyes and I think once you read it you will never look at the liar the same again. You will see all the lies for exactly what they are - LIES - instead of "I hope he is telling me the truth this time". The author shows you the pattern that all these liars follow therefore when you read this book you will recognize it for what it is!I desperately hope that my sister will read the copy I sent to her. If not, maybe she will at least donate it to her local library to help women who actually want to be helped!I highly recommend this book if you are in a relationship based on lies (even if you just suspect lies) and deception. You won't be sorry!

Dealing with a liar can be difficult if you yourself are trustworthy.Living with a liar builds anxiety and distress and while you are living in a state of limbo and confusion, they are flying high. It is more difficult to fully observe and actually believe it is happening to you when you are the abused target in the situation. Yes I call this for what it is! Emotional and mental abuse.Money goes missing from your bag, not once not twice but many times. Your spouse wouldn't do that to you, would he? The budget is tight and you cannot afford not to pay that bill, what will you do? You confront him and he blames your son's, his stepsons, and you begin to believe these eight and ten year old are stealing.Then there's the discovered porno movies and the excuse is, the neighour must be using your house to watch when your not at home.... He tells you he loves you, and you think your sex life is the best! No! there's no way he is doing this?He goes to the shops and is gone hours.'Hey, can't I even have a drink with a mate,' he yells!!! Much much later you discover the other woman!This book helps to distinguish the liars and helps you to recognise the signs of lying. It gives you the understanding of what to do and how to heal the wounds left behind.An eye-opener. Parts or some of the stories may actually relate to your own experiences.With insight, knowledge and wisdom comes the power to regain your self worth.Excellent reading.

This book was extremely helpful for me in working through a traumatic experience of infidelity. The biggest breakthrough for me, as I was reading this book with my partner, was a section about what to do when your partner's only response is denial. Basically at that point, s/he has decided that your relationship will not be based on honesty and respect. Did I want this? No. So I left. It seems so obvious, but when you are in turmoil and attached it is hard to think straight. This book helped me to do so. If the relationship had been salvageable, it offered good tools for healing relationships as well.

An outstanding book. I know how painful it is to have a heart torn apart by lies-- and rarely do we see it coming. This book is amazing! Not only will you be able to identify what type of liar your person is in general, but also their techniques almost to the letter--literally you could pull this book out and follow it step by step as your liar is in the process of lying or blaming you for their actions. When you see the words on the page as your liar is lying, trust me it takes the power out of it and you will feel so much more in control (it helps to know you are not the crazy one-- nor are you responsible for your liars lies and actions!). This affirming book is a great step towards seeing how selfish your liar is, what lying does to us, and learning to take care of yourself. I wish I could have read this book as a teen, it would have saved me years of heartache. Now in my late 40s, I can say this is one of the most helpful books I have ever read. Simple and straightforward, this book is a winner when it comes to helping you deal with the loser in your life, whether you decide to keep him/her or not.