There is No Light in Darkness

** spoiler alert **Hmmmmm, where do I start. I'm confused. My brain hurts. I have no clue what is happening or why. That's the point though right?This book is intense. I found myself really liking Blake. After all the terrible things this poor girl went through, she's still trying to live. She's fighting for the light.I knew deep down in my gut Cole was going to be Nathan. But I can't figure out how this puzzle comes together. I feel like my corner pieces have been taken, and I'm a work my way in from the corners kind of girl. Cole could be swoon worthy at times (okay most of the time) but he could be a total ass at others. I felt he really screwed away his feelings with Blake. I mean that literally.While I never felt my heart pounding in my chest, or butterflies fluttering around in my tummy, I did enjoy the complete understand and deep rooted emotions between Blake and Cole.But here I am scratching my head saying "what the hell is going on?" How can you have so many "strange" things happen and just blink to four or five months later? I must be missing pieces because had any of the "strange" things have happened to me, I'd be freaking out and crazy paranoid 24/7. I'll read book two because I have to know what happens.

Originally posted on Goodreads. *Spoiler Free*You ever walk into a room and completely forget what you went in there for? That feeling of befuddlement as you retrace your steps, thinking that if you can just gather enough information that stupid lightbulb will go off and... bingo, it will all make sense? Yeah, that's kind of how the beginning of this book felt. I felt like I just walked into a room and had no idea why I was there or what the hell was going on. I even went back to the beginning and reread some passages, just to make sure I was committing it all to memory correctly. BUT fear not, there's a reason the story is built that way and, yes, it takes a while to figure out but sticking with it is well worth the price of admission.This story is part mystery, part thriller, part love story, part mission of self-discovery, part AHHHH! I seriously had to stop myself from flipping ahead to find the answers to questions that kept popping up. Those first few chapters were an exercise in patience, I had to keep myself in check, letting the story unfold organically, absorbing the information as present-day and flashback sequences were woven together to create the distrubing puzzle of Blake's life. You see, from the very beginning you understand that Blake's experienced a very violent early childhood (no, this isn't a spoiler, it's literally the opening scene). She's had to bear witness to the murder of her mother and suffer through her subsequent kidnapping, all on her fourth birthday. Yeah, it's a stunner.All of this unfolds almost immediately and as we're catching up on Blake's current life and it's plethora of complications, we're treated to the flashbacks of her childhood, which serve to not only fill in some of the blanks for the reader but helps Blake to piece together the puzzle for herself as well. See, Blake suffers from nightmares, each one offers a hint of something from her past. And as things begin to happen in her present these two worlds begin to mesh and that's when the crazy really begins to happen.Crappity, crap, crap. All the stuff that happens in this book sorta made my brains misfire. Just when I thought I had a firm grip on what the hell was going on, I got hit with a sledgehammer and someone shoved some acid down my throat. I think my brains actually bled... in a good way (if that's possible).After the murder of her mother, Blake is dropped off with an aunt, Shelley, who raises her before Blake inevitably finds herself with Maggie. It's at Maggie's that she meets Cole and Aubry, the two boys who live with Maggie. The relationship she develops with each boy is VERY different. Aubry is the big brother Blake has never had, while Cole is the complicated love of her life. The relationship is tumultuous to say the least, but so, so, so sweet. I immediately loved Cole and he's now on my list of all time favorite boys. Yeah, he's that good.There really are a lot of things going on in this book though each thread, each story arc is beautifully woven into the story and allowed to flourish. I never felt overwhelmed or that any element was underdeveloped. While the mysteries of Blake's life are explored so is her relationship with Cole, both in past and present tense. The author really did a lovely job at melding these things together, showing just enough of these characters history and present to make them intriguing and compelling.Blake is one of the few heroines of late that I can really get behind. She's had a rough go of it but she never felt like a victim to me. She's smart, compassionate, maybe a bit misguided at times, but her reasons seem fair and justified. Though she has a hard time expressing her love for others it's so very clear from the onset that she loves with her whole heart, even when she's terrified. I felt that for someone in Blake's shoes, she acted appropriately throughout the novel. There was never an instance that felt contrived or overly plotted for dramatical purposes. She was simply trying to exist, to move forward and recover the pieces of herself that had long ago been stolen from her. Given all she's endured she's really a tough cookie but never hardened, never cold, calculating or callous. Blake is a survivor through and through. A survivor trying to make sense of a nonsensical childhood. I ached with her, soared with her, adored her and felt her stabbing pain and fear. Truly, she was a powerful, sometimes enigmatic, but always honest and compelling character.I also loved that this author created beautiful examples of enduring friendship. The women in Blake's life were all really wonderful. Whether it was Shelley or Maggie serving as mother figures or Becky or Aimee as best friends, these women all showed what it means to be truly dedicated to someone. It was clear that it was their influence which shaped Blake and made her the stellar woman she became. Without their love, kindness and loyalty Blake's life would have suffered so much more. It's relationships like these I wish I read more of and something that's sadly lacking in N/A & Y/A today. True strong female bonds are often replaced by catty, backstabbing sluts and it makes me sick that we're so comfortable seeing other women constantly portrayed that way. Yes, of course, there's a slutty bad girl in this novel, but it was not over-played and it's use was appropriate under the circumstances. But the balance of the relationships were fantastic and I loved them all.The boys, too, were glorious. Aubry as the big brother/best friend was outstanding. So supportive, so protective, such a man. He was always respectful and the relationship never ventured into anything unseemly or inappropriate. It just goes to show that you can have a boy-friend who isn't a boyfriend. As I mentioned earlier, Cole was amazeballs. He won my heart early on and as I learned more about him and his history with Blake I loved him even more. Yes, he made some mistakes as a teenager but nothing egregious. I easily forgave his mistakes and understood his motivations. I also understood Blake's reactions to them. I have to stop and say that the author truly has her finger on the pulse of that teenage mindset, where everything seems so much bigger than it really is and pain feels so acute and unforgiveable. Nothing that happened seemed unfamiliar. It felt so natural and so right it was like being seventeen again. Even when we get to the older Blake, she's matured appropriately, still not certain of who she really is but aged enough to process her emotions more maturely. The author's mastery of these stages of emotional development is truly remarkable and so dead on it's impossible not to get caught up in these characters.There's not much more I can say without getting too spoilery and this is not a book I want to spoil. But know this: there are more twists in this book than any rollercoater I've ever riden. It is at times heartbreaking and lovely, it is chilling and complex, it's fast-paced and gut-wrenching. Read it. Yes, it is really that good. And if it's not picked up by a publisher I will be shocked and appalled. This book needs to be in bookstores RIGHT. NOW. So please, please, please, PLEASE read this. Support the author, love the story and recommend it to your friends. It deserves that much.

I wasn't sure what to expect from this one. I loved the cover (yes, I know..."Don't judge a book" and all that). I saw lots of positive reviews but this one was more of a romantic suspense or mystery novel. I don't usually like those. Reluctantly, I decided to dive in, and once I was in, I couldn't get out.Blake has had a rough life. Her parents died and she has been bounced around from home to home. She doesn't trust easily. Her life is about to change dramatically.Cole has known Blake since she came to his home as a teen. Cole fell in love with her the moment he gazed into her eyes. The only problem is that Cole is a playboy and always has been. There is one thing that he has known from the beginning, that Blake is going to be his someday.Blake has recurring nightmares about her childhood. Some she knows are real and others she is not sure about. She can't seem to make sense of them. All she knows for sure is that something bad happened and the boy in her dreams made her feel safe.Blake begins to remember more of her past, she uncovers things that were not meant to see the light of day. Soon, she and everyone she loves is at risk.As the past unravels, the author takes us on a ride through time. We see Blake and Cole in their pasts. The tumultuous past that they have shared and the future that they could have. Despite Blake's reluctance to let him in, Cole pursues her relentlessly. Blake struggles to trust when all she has ever loved has been brutally ripped from her. I love Cole, there were several times that I could not believe what Blake did!There were some pretty significant revelations in this book. And in the end, when we are all sitting so quietly enjoying a wonderful book and Bam! A big old cliffhanger!I am so glad I waited to read this until the second book was out. I literally dove right into book two and I am glad I could. There is a big `ole cliffy in this one. I am normally not a fan of them but for some reason in this one it worked. I really enjoyed this writers style. We got to see the story from both Blake and Cole's P.O.V. The story starts in the present and jumps around a bit going back and forth. This can be tricky to pull off well but this author did it well.This one was so worth the read! 5 Stars!