The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Conflict Resolution: The Secret to Breaking the Conflict Cycle in Your Marriage

Conflict is normal, but this book teaches you how to handle it in a way that strengthens your relationship. The authors, Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo, draw from their own experiences and insights gained from working with countless couples to provide actionable advice. They understand the challenges couples face and offer guidance on navigating conflicts with grace and understanding.

This book is good news because it achieves its goal of showing that conflict in marriage doesn’t have to be destructive.The authors show genuine care for their readers and want them to experience an extraordinary marriage.This book is also for couples planning on getting married. They should read it carefully before they say, “I do.”The content of this book is rich.Introduction: The six areas (6 Pillars of Intimacy) where marriages could experience conflict.Chapter 1: The unproductive patterns (or dance) that couples go through to solve conflict (lack of trust, emotional infidelity, financial secrets, etc).Chapter 2: Unhealthy ways of conflict resolution come from having observed others (nagging, withdrawal, intimidation, etc).Chapters 3 to 7 presents practical strategies, tactics, and methods on how to resolve conflict.Chapter 3: Transfer a skill (or skills) used in, say, a business situation (calm, diplomatic, analytical, etc).Chapter 4: Know each other’s time (“Let’s get it over with right now” vs “I need some time to process my emotions”).Chapter 5: How to unpack the conflict cycle (conflict starts, escalates, reaches a boiling point, cools down, resolution).Chapter 6: How to resolve conflict faster.Chapter 7: How to solve the common conflict challenges in the 6 Pillars of Intimacy such as not sharing feelings, being affectionate towards others but not the spouse, spending too much, not praying together or attending services together, never going on dates, etc).This book is a five stars out of five.

We have been married 42 years, by Gods pure grace and an attitude of push through. We have unpacked a lot of baggage through The 6-Pillars of Intimacy book and have realized marriage is an investment and for it to grow it takes tools, resources and community! This book is an incredible tool that upon reading we were immediately able to apply! It simply put words to lapses that we could see but didn’t know how to address. It was eye opening. It’s a tool that we needed years ago, like 42, but are grateful that it is in our hands forever as it’s something we will reference forever! Tony & Alisa speak hard truths backed by supportive suggestions! Conflict does not have to be an avoided or a trigger but with understanding how to navigate it, it can be a tool to build a bridge! Our bridge is getting stronger thank you for your investment into marriages… we are stronger and more connected because of your truths!!!

This provides some good insight for working at conflict in a marriage. I'm grateful for the opportunity to read it.

The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Conflict Resolution offers practical tools to improve how couples handle disagreements. Marriage coach Alisa DiLorenzo ( with her husband, Tony) provides research and interactive exercises to help you identify conflict styles and break negative patterns. A key feature is the conflict cycle diagram to map reactions during disputes. DiLorenzo suggests constructive communication strategies for common issues across emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, recreational, and sexual intimacy pillars. The compassionate tone encourages small steps for change. This thoughtful book provides insight into self and partner to transform conflict interactions and build a stronger union. I highly recommend this book if you, as a couple, have some challenges in your marriage or relationship and are looking for guidance to resolve these issues!

SO many great nuggets in this book! No matter what age you are or stage you're in, you can take something away from this and apply it to your marriage. I love the idea of looking at conflict as a "gold mine" (learn more about your spouse) instead of a "land mine" and the discussion on timing in Chapter 4 ( do you process quickly or slowly?) was so insightful. I think my favorite part is that there are practical, applicable suggestions for solutions to common problems. While I don't want to have conflict with my husband, I do believe we'll handle conflict better together after reading this book AND applying what we learned!

This book has allowed me not to dread conflict, but to embrace it and tackle it head-on! It is so brilliantly written, easy to read, and easy to apply in your own life. I don't know of anyone who enjoys conflict whether it's in your marriage, or in any kind of relationship. Having a book that focuses on how to handle conflict, the different things that you can do to defuse situations, and how to come to a resolution is gold! I will use the tools that I have learned from this book for the rest of my life.I work in ministry, I deal with different personalities and different family upbringings, and I have already been able to apply it in my workplace! Yes, it has done wonders for my marriage, but it's fun to see that I can use it in other areas too.

"The 6 Pillars of Intimacy Conflict Resolution: The Secret to Breaking the Conflict Cycle in Your Marriage" is a game changer for any couple who wants to fight better. It's filled with real-life examples that every married couple can relate to and provides actionable skills you can try out immediately. With the accompanying workbook, you can really start to understand how you and your spouse approach conflict. And with this knowledge, you can learn how to stop the vicious conflict cycle and instead learn how to disagree without damaging your relationship. Best of all, this book is a reminder that you're not alone. Conflict is normal, and every couple experiences it. But you don't have to figure out how to change things all by yourself. Alisa and Tony are your guides to breaking the conflict cycle in your marriage.