Getting to 'I Do': The Secret to Doing Relationships Right! Paperback – February 1, 1995

Dr. Allen hooks the reader from page one with this clever and easily-employable masterpiece on relationships. She seems to have a keen sense to "get to the heart" of matters, picking them apart piece-by-piece, and then offering practical guidance for each area. Like most professional women today, I've found it difficult to find "Mr. Right" and have admittedly settled for "Mr. Right Now" on an occasion or two, so, this book was a godsend. I say this because there are certain aspects of communication that I needed to improve on however, was unaware which areas had been my downfall in the past. Similarly, identifying my stronger "energy" as Dr. Allen describes it, has been significant in assisting me to understand what my role should be in a relationship and how to defuse conflicting situations. I am in the early stages of exercising some of her suggestions, but, I can tell you that this book has already helped me tremendously with communicating with my boyfriend of more than a year. I'd recommend it to anyone and I also recommend Bob Grant's book "Women Men Adore" if you are seriously considering delving into the secret behind attracting a "keeper".I must also mention that I was expecting some chauvinistic garbage that would require me to become completely subservient to my male counterparts and demand that I reject my strong affinity for independence. Equally, with Dr. Allen's book, I expected the reverse; a feminist call to assert and be heard. However, this is not what I learned at all. What I did learn was that, through understanding the person that I am (there is even a short quiz to assist with this in Dr. Allen's book) I was able to utilize better techniques for communication as well as, determine if I am currently in the right relationship for my "energy". After reading at length, I learned that my last failed relationship was due to us having too similar of energies; it made perfect sense. I even found it more helpful and interesting than John Gray's "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". This book is a "must read" for any single woman nearing or over 30 searching for the right partner.

Pat Allen is no nonsense & highly studied. Here it is, all layed out for us, and this applies if you're straight, gay or transgender. For a relationship to be successful, it needs 1) a masculine energy that gets respected for his or her thoughts 2) a feminine energy that gets cherished for his or her feelings 3) chemistry 4) compatibility & 5) communication, which is Love. This book helped me change the way I am,Or who I'm being in my relationship. I'm still me. Just a better version. I believe it's the reason I'm in my current loving relationship. I call this book my relationship bible. If followed to a tee, which may at times be challenging, relationship success is imminent! *If you have the pleasure of living in southern California, be sure to see Pat Allen speak. She has gatherings that are around $15 for a couple of hours. Or private sessions at a much higher rate. She also had some on- line events. She's fascinating, hilarious, and her studies have not been disproven. She's been working with couples for about 40 years. Thanks Pat!!

I have a huge bookshelf stocked with spiritual books focusing on masculine-feminine energy polarity, and when my elder Russian bikini-waxer recommended this one, I was quick to pass judgment on the source of the recommendation, assuming that she didn't know what it was like to be a single woman in her 30's, and that this would just be yet another book stating the same things I already knew. I had just been broken up with, and she claimed that a former client had come in one day to tell her how she read this book and met her fiance 5 months later, and from then on, she had begun recommending it to all her single clients seeking a mate. Allegedly all of them had fallen in love soon afterward. Well, the book was only $10, and I justified ordering it by claiming it was for research purposes. It was a good read, and framed things I had read before, in books by people like David Deida and Rori Raye, in new and practical ways. Also, Pat Allen likely inspired many of the authors whose books on the topic fill my shelves, as she was one of the first to begin writing about the practical applications of working with masculine-feminine energy. But the clincher is that within a few weeks I met my significant other. I can't say for sure if it was the book, but who knows? It certainly didn't hurt, and much of the advice it provides is worth taking. Worth a read!

She guides you on how to be feminine and set boundaries. It’s not about becoming submissive for a partner, but rather guide you to speak up for yourself and your non negotiables without stepping into your masculine. This book is not for a hardcore feminist. It’s more for those with an open mind and/or prefer traditional relationships.