The Days of Abandonment Paperback – September 1, 2005

A neat synopsis of my thoughts:- It’s okay to pour into others. It’s when we avoid pouring into ourselves that the problems start.- This is the fastest I’ve ever read a book.- If a man ever makes me behave like this, take me out back and put me down like a dog.- THE HUSBAND/EX-HUSBAND IS THE WORST.- This is, by far, one of the best portrayals of how destructive infidelity, and any subsequent separations, can be on the couple and everyone within their social circle.- The main character really redeemed herself toward the end, especially regarding a particular character.- Beautifully written with so many gems interwoven in the fabric of the main character’s thoughts

Everyone knows divorce is a terrible ordeal. When a marriage, a family, is suddenly ripped apart by the husband leaving for a younger woman, the suffering is horrific. It's one of the oldest of stories. Countless woman have experienced it. Those who do, look on others embarking on the path with pity and knowing. Women who've experienced this kind of break up know that the only way through it is, well, through it.But no one talks about it. Probably because it hurts so damned much. Eventually, the mother and children get through the ordeal, each with their own private scars, but it just becomes a bad spot in the past, like a bruise on a banana.Elena Ferrante talks about it. In Days of Abandonment, she goes into the home of Olga, Ilaria and Gianni and shows us what went on behind that closed door after Mario, husband and father, left them for Carla. The story is from Olga's point of view, and it is her anguish we feel most poignantly. But we see all of them, Olga, Ilaria, Gianni, even Otto the dog, swirling in the wake of Mario's departure. They plummet until it doesn't seem they can go any lower. Then they begin to heal.The well-being of the mother and children can be measured by the way they view Carrano, their neighbor. When the story starts out, they see him through the eyes of Mario. Mario didn't like Carrano, and his observations were taken in by the rest of the family without question. After Mario leaves, Carrano goes through a remarkable series of transformations. He starts out sullen, unattractive and rude and migrates through lechery, incompetence to being a source of comfort.Ferrante accomplishes all of her magic by showing us the transformations of Olga's outside world as she goes from shock to despair and up through the dregs to find her strength.A fantastic book about an occurrence all too common but little understood. The book is difficult to read because the subject matter is so painful and displayed so graphically. But well worth taking the opportunity to become acquainted with this marvelous Italian talent.

Every once in a while a book comes around that is very difficult to review. Ms. Ferrante’s The Days of Abandonment is one of those. The reason for this is that, though I am enthralled by Ms. Ferrante’s technique and the emotional truth that she uncovers in her story, I just don’t like it very much.The story is straightforward enough: Olga and her two children, Gianni and Ilaria, are abandoned by her husband, Mario, for a younger woman; in fact, a much younger woman whom the entire family once knew well. Olga’s life proceeds to fall apart. The bulk of the novel examines the first few months of Olga’s life on her own.Though nothing about Olga’s subsequent behavior seems in any way false, her level of anger and violence is foreign to me. I cannot connect to her willingness to verbally abuse everyone around her, physically attack her husband, and severely neglect her children and dog. I understand there are real people like her but at my lowest I have never found it in me to act out in profanity and violence. Because of this, I am unable to fully appreciate this novel’s excellences.I also struggle with books that have no sympathetic characters. Not only is Olga problematic but also Mario. He abandons his family and appears to be guilty of statutory rape but exhibits not the slightest bit of remorse. The children behave horribly to a mother who is clearly struggling. These are difficult people with whom to spend time.However, the literary part of me cannot deny that this is a well-done book. In particular, I was carried to the end by how well Olga’s ascent out of depression played so well with the person that was developed in the first part of the book. But it was not enough to save the experience for me.