Being Dead Is No Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral

Gayden's book is beyond a cookbook---it brings to mind that culture that we lived and actually are still living in the South. A Yankee friend said she just "couldn't relate" to the book. Poor thing. I guess it just takes a Southern lady of a "certain age" to fully appreciate the authenticity of Gayden Metcalfe's descriptions of our funeral protocol!Even when reading it all alone, I laughed right out loud on nearly every page at not only Gayden's wit, but her ability to let us see the funny side (and caring side) of our funerals and the food solace we provide before and after. It captures those customs perfectly. And, just as she said, I keep the ingredients of a casserole in my pantry at all times, just in case of a neighbor's sudden death, and my funeral suit hangs in the closet and my pearls at the top of my jewelry chest, at the ready.I always sent my sons to church in suits and ties anyway, but I did this partly so they too would be ready for a funeral at the drop of a hat. More than once, we'd have to outfit a cousin because his mother didn't understand this, bless her heart.Gayden's recipes are grand, really dressed up versions of our "funeral food." No Cheese Wiz is included, thank goodness.I particulary laughed at this truth: After the cemetery part of the funeral, in the car on the way to the family home for the funeral meal, we can speak ill of the dead one quite vigorously. But once we get in the driveway of the bereaved, we straighten up and speak only of the great loss to the community his death has caused, even though he had been a rip-roaring scoundrel.And even in the privacy of our car, understand that each criticism of the dead one had been prefaced with "Bless his heart. . ."A Southern lady can give the most scathing statement as long as she begins with "Bless her heart. . ." An example, "Bless her heart, she's ugly as homemade soap and her children are such a disappointment. They all take after her grand-daddy on her mother's side, and bless his heart, I wouldn't pour ice tea on that rascal if he was on fire." Of course, we wouldn't do that at the family home after the funeral, only in the car on the way to it.And we could get away with saying that to her third cousin once removed over the bridge table, but we wouldn't say it to her face. But we could say to her: "Bless your heart, that husband of yours has caused you such grief, with his runnin' around and all. I just wish you'd married Joe Bob, who made a dentist. I know your daddy wanted you to, but, Lord knows, you did the best you could at the time, you bein' pregnant and all."

I ordered this for my widowed mom because it had a sharp wit that could brighten her days. When called to thank me, I said, "It has recipes, too."My mother said, "Oh, I know. I made the funeral potatoes. It was really good. I ate the whole thing." I mean, the recipe was meant to serve a funeral. And she ate it all.

This tongue in cheek guide to the way death is done in the Delta felt very familiar to this Hillbilly in western North Carolina. While here in the mountains it might not be tomato aspic (gasp), the loyalty to certain funeral foods and the dos and don’ts for burying your loved ones feels like hearing an old familiar song sung in a new key. The sense of the comic and the tragic going hand in hand cuts across the South even into these hills. I laughed out loud more than once and now it’s time to plan my own funeral.

I had quite a few giggles reading this book and a few recipes to try now, too. Some, but not all, of the traditions remind me of funerals I've attended and I'm not from the South.

Great take on a Southern Funeral … my husband and I actually drive to the cemetery and looked for different headstones.. we did see some of the ‘family’ names. But we were so intrigued and laughed as I would read parts of the book out loud. Wish we could have met the author while there in town..Great book, funny… I’ve even bought copies for friends…. !!!⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️++

Should be entitled Ladies Survival Manual . So much truthiness between the covers of this book! I’ve bought many copies and given to my friends. Don’t leave one on your coffee table it might disappear when your guest leaves! Definitely delightful and humorous antedotes and delicious recipes as well as tips for getting through those situations we would prefer to pass, but have no way of escaping! Know what I mean, Vern? I’m 86 y/o and have this book on my bedside table. It’s THAT good! Liz

Not really my style of book but also was still entertaining. We read this for our book club. It was fun to see so those recipes and try out one of two of them.

Folks - can't add to many of the reviews here, given this isn't a new release. But if you are here reading this...Consider this as a crash course in recipes that have been around long before we ever heard of Paula Dean. This is a recipe book written with Erma Bombeck wit, and and a real feel for the Southern Church Lady culture we've come to know and love. For as much laughing as I have done reading the narrative, each one of these recipes has been used more than a few times at parties and socials. The humor is timeless, and you'll never feel so bad at a funeral after reading a chapter from this and bringing the family of the deceased a recipe or two from this book.Given more of these away than Gideon had Bibles or Carter had liver pills. My favorites are the Beer-Cheese Pimiento, the Breakfast Casserole, and Homemade Vegetable Soup. You can follow the recipe, substitute the Campbell's soup mix with white sauces mixed with celery and mushrooms made from the juice of the veggies sauteed in butter and white wine, with cream folded in - for a Julia touch. If you're already dealing with death, no reason you can't add a dash of the perfectly divine!Highly recommend. Just put the butcher knife down before you read the funny parts!