Lost and Found: Unexpected Revelations About Food and Money

Geneen Roth-- despite never revealing her true credentials, or lack of them-- has written some great, truly groundbreaking, books on eating disorders and food and women. This book, however, is awful, and reveals some pretty awful things about her.In short, she and her husband had invested all of their money into Bernie Madoff's scheme and lost every penny, very suddenly. A friend called to tell her, and her first reaction was to phone her husband, who was on a trip of a life time to Antarctica. It apparently never dawned on her that she was going to ruin the rest of his trip. She does note that the call, via satellite, cost her $100. Not long afterwards, they are in New York, she becomes obsessed with a pair of glasses and drags her mother, whom she describes as just having had surgery and experiencing pain with every step, several blocks away to come look at the glasses, in order to garner support for this unnecessary purchase. She never mentions that this was a terrible thing to do to her mother, or expresses any guilt over it.In a later portion of the book, she describes two incidents of breaking and entering: once into her neighbour's house for granola she craves, and the other climbing up a ladder and prying open a second floor window for ice cream. She recounts these as shame of her absolute need for these foods, but no real remorse for so horribly violating other people's home space. Geneen Roth is the dictionary definition of self-absorbed, without awareness and without responsibility.Her need to be the expert in all things food, whilst lovingly looking down on those all around her is well expressed in her insistence at referring to her participants as her "students". She quotes them constantly, with the air of their damaged selves, not that she can learn from them. In her trip to NYC where she ponders the purchase of the eye glasses, she smells the lingering smoke of cigarettes on the street and thinks "Gawd [her spelling, not mine], why can't they stop smoking? Why can't people have more control over their addictions?" Well, thanks for letting us know how you really feel about your "students", Geneen. This should have been one of those moments where she says, oh my God, did I just write that down?, and immediately delete it, understanding what she's really saying about all of those people with food addictions. But nope, not Geneen.And to the point of the book, money. She has a bad history with money. Many people do. But her loss with Madoff was not the first time this happened to her. There was another investor in whom she trusted who ran off with all of her money. And she breezily claims that "many women" who are very powerful and successful are terrible with money and don't have a clue as to where it is or how it's being invested. That is hogwash. Most people, men and women, who are successful and powerful do not lose every penny they have-- twice. Of course, there are no footnotes or references to how many women she thinks are like this, because Geneen Roth, as the self-appointed guru of the compulsive eating issue, never ever does use real facts and figures.Now, that's generally okay in many of her books. She definitely has her finger on the pulse of a lot of people with very damaged relationships to food, and I would guess that if someone did research the participants in her classes, they would find a good rate of success in losing weight and gaining comfort with body image and acceptance. But in this book, cold, hard cash is the topic, and throwing around her own observations without any backup doesn't cut it. It just keeps coming across as a defense for her own issues in this area. She completely ignores the cultural issues of spending, the brainwashing of advertising, the way large corporations constantly offer upgraded products that are part of our lives, now (i-phones being one of the biggest offenders).She believes that most people don't know much about stocks and bonds and investments, and I would agree with that. But it is a complicated business, and it is why you hire experts. Real ones whom you research. And you don't give them the checks, you write it directly to the investment company-- for whom your financial advisor does NOT work. You read up a bit, but you do no expect to be the authority on it. That's like the people who walk into their doctor's office armed with their own understanding of what latest herb is going to cure their diabetes.She has no qualms about informing us that she discovers that going up to anyone she encounters with the question of how much money they make makes people very uncomfortable and shuts them down. As if it's their problem, a societal problem, it's about shame and a need to cover up, rather than that asking such a question is appallingly in bad taste and none of her effing business. Did I mention how self-absorbed she is?And the book itself? Very poorly written and/or edited. A lot of meandering, incredibly repetitious, naval gazing. She did come from a highly dysfunctional family, and money was a very much a part of that. There are plenty of people in the world, I'm sure, who had the same training in their own families, and for whom money is badly managed as a result. Will any of them be helped by this? Maybe, but not many. In the middle of the book, she says that "if one person can change, anyone can change". But by the end, she informs us that "many of us are inspired to change, but few of us are willing to to be as uncomfortable as required to actually change.", letting you know that this book is bit of the Ponzie scheme she decries as Madoff's great crime. Especially since she also let's you know at the very end that within a year, she had made back the money by selling more books and classes-- which is to people like you and me.I lost a tremendous amount of respect for her by page 14 (where she calls her husband in Antarctica), and by the end, it was clear who this woman really is and how she really thinks. If you're interested, then by all means, slog through this endless variation on the one riff. But if not-- then make sure your financial advisor is reputable, and if you're someone who is on the lower stratas of income, go to your local bank and ask for some help in this area.

I like this book for the examination of the overlap of mindless spending (and investing as a type of spending) and overeating. Similar concepts have been brought up by Peter Walsh in his books "It's All Too Much" and "Does This Clutter Make Me Look Fat?". I think Roth does a better job with this fuller examination of the unstated reasons for out of control behavior. I think this book has lessons for people beyond the stated food and money, it could help with many types of overindulgence.The book shares many of her patterns of behavior and the shows how they sprang from core beliefs that were not right. It took a lot of courage to admit that she thought her husband was responsible to provide the necessities of their life, and her money was for play. She tells us how she conveniently "forgot" to bring he wallet when they went shopping at Costco, so he would have to pay. She works through many examples of this kind of thinking, where it came from, and how she addressed it. She makes it clear that she is still a work in progress.I think this book is needed for many people, but I think Roth generalizes Her feelings to the general population. She has a left of center political approach which will dampen her message for some people. She does not even consider that moral people can differ from her values. Roth writes from a Buddhist perspective and refers to many Buddhist writers and their works, so it helps if the reader understands some of the beliefs beforehand.I think this would be a great book for a book club, it is a good read. I wish there were a study guide with discussion questions. If people were able to tolerate the discomfort these subjects bring, the discussions could be enlightening.

Little did I know how much reading Geneen's newest book would impact me and how I live my life. When I read Lost and Found the first time, it didn't quite sink in...that could have been my first clue. OMG, how I noticed something huge had just happened was how I was seeing what I was doing for work and with work and because of how I worked. This of course is so closely connected with what I do for money. Now I am reading the book outloud to my spouse and doing inquiry each day into what comes up. I have already made some huge changes in how I chose to use my energy in work. No more expending all the energy I have doing things I don't really want to do. What was I thinking? Geneen, I have one more book for you. Write about our relationship with illness and pain. I work with people in pain and it's the same darn thing. It's really not about the injury. The injury is the easy part. It's how we see ourselves when we are injured or sick. You know. You had all those years after you had shingles and then after your near fatal accident. It's a whole nother arena for exploration. Pain and illness is yet another portal. You have such a gift with words and clarity to get this message out. Include both men and women. People, Pain and Illness...see, you'll have to even do the title. Thank you for helping me change my life. You were able to help me see why I've been sitting on a cushion for 20 years! Doing inquiry has blown the lid off this underworld of concepts and believes that have driven me all these years. What an amazing exploration to just be curious and "see" what drives the me/mine. WOW!

This spoke to me on so many levels, and Geneen is so raw and real that I was sucked in and loving every moment... until I looked down and saw there were only 10 pages of the book remaining. I didn't want it to end! So I didn't finish the last 10 pages until a week later, haha.I love the way she had words for the unexpressed feelings of my heart....

I am just finishing this book and I could not imagine how life-changing this book would be for me. It had never occured to me that my attitude towards food follows the same pattern with my attitude with money. The same way I diet and then binge over and over again, I save money and then start shopping with no end. It seems like we all have a software in our brains and we use this subconsciously to all aspects of our lives without realizing it. Geneen helped me identify this and with this knowledge, I feel much more powerful to change the way I think and behave.Moreover, I really admired the way she dealt with the loss of all her lifetime savings and how she used such a 'disaster' to get to know herself better and realize how greedy and unsatisfied she was before with 1 million dollars in her bank account!As I was reading the book, I had many 'aha' moments and felt that I could be the one writing these lines. It is very soothing when one feels that other people feel likewise.

Enjoyed reading about her life. She is the type of writer who lets you into her head. Definitely inspiring...which is why she is a success. Everyone can easily relate. This book is about a Life-shock of the Worst Nightmare - variety and obviously the immediate impact on her life, how she reacted short and long term and the ripple-effect of the shock. Changed her life and in this case of the people she knew affected in the same way.... Whether it's about money, relationships or natural disasters, Life-shocks happen!! Geneen shares her story.......

great thank you

If you have read Women, food and God you will find that there is a repetition of what she said in that book. But there is still a lot to discover in Lost and Found. If you have not read Woman, food and Good, I recommend you buy it to get more of what she is explaining to you both about food and money. The two can be interchangeable. Our feelings about both are similar in many ways.

This book was just what I needed to understand my money habits. It is a very easy read and I finished it in a couple of days. It is very unusual for me to read book like this as quickly. I have learning disorder and decoding technical books can be very slow read for me.