Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More

I've had this book on my Kindle for ages but never got around to reading it until now and I am kicking myself for that because this book was so good. I tore through the pages feeling an incredible emotional investment because the way Janet Mock writes really sucks you in. REDEFINING REALNESS is Janet Mock's memoir about womanhood, and, more specifically, womanhood as told through her own unique perspective as a BIPOC/Native Hawaiian transwoman.There were so many passages in here that I wanted to quote. Her writing is gorgeous and she brings up a lot of really good points. She writes about what it was like for her to be raised as if she were a boy and her gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia. She writes about sexual assault (TW!) and the ways it psychologically damaged her for years to come. She writes about sex work, and the male gaze, and how the whole framing of "passing" is harmful because it holds up cis-gendered people as this lofty ideal, while also enforcing toxic beauty standards. She also writes about coming out, self-love, and what it was like for her to get her various therapies and surgeries.At times, this was a very difficult read because she goes to some very dark places. But juxtaposed against every painful section is a friend or group of friends who supported her or a passage of self-affirmation about how she likes who she is. I also thought it was interesting about how she wrote on privilege, and underscored how no woman (trans- or otherwise)'s experience is going to be the same. Many things for her were difficult, but as someone who is conventionally attractive and had a family who mostly (with mixed success) supported her transition, she automatically has certain advantages that made her situation easier than someone who is not as conventionally attractive, doesn't fit the Western gender norms for what is considered feminine, and doesn't have familial support.I would recommend this to anyone who is looking for a solid memoir that deals with important subjects pertaining to feminism, trans issues, coming of age, and womanhood in a fresh and engaging way. Less topically but perhaps most endearingly, I kind of fell in love with all of the early 2000s cultural references. Destiny's Child, perfumed lotion, Lipsmackers, TRL. My childhood.4.5 out of 5 stars

Very enlightening story, so glad that I read this book. I highly recommend!

"Redefining Realness" stirred up memories of my freshman year in college. During the spring semester, my English professor introduced the class to books by authors of subjects many of us had only heard of, but never even remotely experienced. Authors like E. Lynn Harris. His book "Just As I Am" sparked a fire in us that made us trample over other students hanging out in the quad, just to make it to the classroom in time to dissect the more than 380 pages of fictional sizzle. As we talked about the book and the issues it brought to the forefront, our discussions were filled with joy, anger, curiosity, and just a flat-out appreciation of Harris' writing skills.This is how I felt while reading "Redefining Realness" - even before completing the first chapter. With my excitement level on "high", I wanted to immediately hightail it to someone's book club and talk about what I had just read!This book is awesome. Janet Mock takes readers on the journey of her life as a trans woman of color - a journey that was as foreign to me as a map of the streets of Djibouti City. I honestly did not realize that the lives of transgender people were that intense (especially poor trans people of color). Thanks to media portrayals of trans men and women over the years, I likened them to "drag queens" and reduced their lives to simply being "people who like to play dress-up." To me, a person was either gay, lesbian, or straight. Nothing else. However, Mock's experience, passion, rawness, statistics, and transparency, taught me that the world does not fit neatly into compartments."Redefining Realness" evoked thought, compassion, and awareness - everything I expected based on the title of the book, as well as the publicity which has surrounded it over the last few months. I thoroughly enjoyed Mock's storytelling (story within a story), particularly the imagery she used to tell her story. Much like her "shero" Zora Neale Hurston, Mock's descriptive writing engaged all of the standard senses and more. I felt the winds and humidity of Oahu. I saw Charles, Sr.'s gold tooth with the Cowboys' shout-out. I touched Keisha's hair right along with Jamie. I heard conversations in Hawaiian pidgen on the streets as Janet and Wendi pooched. I tasted grandma's gumbo while eavesdropping on family gossip. (The pop music references sprinkled throughout the book made it even more "real" for me because I remember where I was when all of those songs debuted!)On top of all of this, Mock made me laugh. Her quick wit provided a much-welcomed intermission from a stressful and, at times, unbelievable read. It was good to laugh to keep from crying. However, even in comedy, she managed to teach lessons. I'll never confuse a "drag queen" for a trans woman again because I now know "a drag queen is part-time for showtime. A trans woman is all the time." Love it!"Redefining Realness" is a masterpiece, not only because of the content, but because of Mock's incredible writing skills. I appreciate her for using her unique story to inform, chastise, correct, and commend. That's what real women do.I look forward to more work from Mock in any genre.

I have often said that I abhor the kind of trans biography which focusses on the path to transition and ends there -- as though that is the most interesting thing the subject will ever do. I happily make an exception in this case though -- first because the 'after' story is being told every day through the amazing advocacy led by this woman; and second because Janet uses that story of her childhood journey to such good educational effect. Inscribed here is the struggle of every trans child realising they are different from their earliest recollections, played out in a world where the 'evidence' of what's between their legs is considered to trump everything they know and might say of their experience. Imagine the isolation created by that complete fait-accompli belief by everyone around you. And imagine how that belief system supports a system which puts such young people in such a vulnerable position that they need to participate in sex work to survive. Actually you don't HAVE to imagine it, because Janet paints it all in such vibrant scary colours.

A fascinating account of Janet's journey through a troubled childhood because of her mother's and father's shortcomings. Quite a bit is clearly owed to Julia Serano's "Whipping Girl"...

Coming from a person who shares some commonalities with Janet Mock in experience, I can say that it takes a lot of courage to publish this type of honest and complete story of one's life. Not only does Janet talk about her own experiences, she puts them into context of the struggles that trans women of color face within society. She encourages you not only just to understand her point of view, but understand the points of view of her family and friends, reminding readers that there are many who have stories like Janet's. It takes a lot to be so open about things, to be honest, and to put it all out there. It was inspiring to read and I'm grateful that Janet has given so many people a glimpse of her life. It makes me feel confident that one day it will be less scary to tell my own story and I hope that it inspires others to tell theirs.Thank you for such a wonderful book Janet!

This book CHANGED me... Whether you are trans, or are simply looking to learn, or are even looking to read a fascinating autobiography plain and simple, this book is stunning, and I cannot personally thank Janet Mock enough for writing it. Life changing! And so inspirational. It tells everything from the heart, and is unflinchingly honest. So brave to have written such a story and put it out into the world!

Don't just think about reading this book - do it! I found it completely immersive and compelling. It introduced me to an area of life that I knew little about. It's so easy to hold preconceived ideas and judgements about situations we don't understand; in reading this book I came away enlighted and more compassionate. It's gritty and uncomfortable in places, that's the 'realness' of this book. There is however a sense of hope throughout. It's an unforgetable read that will stir many emotions and thoughts as you read it. It's a brave and well crafted account.