The Highly Sensitive Person

The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron, Ph.D. explains the inheritable trait of sensitivity in mainly positive terms. Her basic premise is to encourage a paradigm shift in the way leaders and thinkers view sensitivity - to go from believing it is a negative and shameful characteristic in a person to looking at it as simply a neutral quality that can be either positive or negative, depending on the manifestation of sensitivity in a particular situation. Some of my earliest memories of childhood revolve around a sense that I was deeply flawed in some inexplicable way. I spent inordinate amounts of time holed away in my bedroom (out of choice), just pondering life's meaning, the esoteric mysteries that no one seemed to understand, and generally imagining fantastic stories of grandeur and whimsy. Because I wasn't like other kids (and I inherently knew this), I thought something must have been "wrong" with me. And these negative thoughts of myself preoccupied much of my pondering, because I saw the way the majority of people lived, interacted, and what their preferences for company entailed, and I was different in some way. Flawed. Imperfect. Too shy. Withdrawn. Moody. Aron explains in her book that shy doesn't equal flawed. In fact, sensitivity isn't really shyness at all. There are many cultural misconceptions about shyness or inhibitedness, and Aron does a fine job at refuting those claims by redefining a general trait of sensitivity. Sensitivity involves physical, psychological, and spiritual awareness on a deeper level than the majority of non-sensitive persons experience. For instance, on a physical level, sensitive persons (or HSPs) will likely become overstimulated in a noisy, brightly lit, bustling setting more quickly than a non-HSP. We feel things more quickly and intensely perhaps. This goes for our emotions, too, and empathy is one of our greatest assets. But what I love the most regarding sensitivity and understanding it - myself - more clearly is that I am not alone and I am not broken because of it. I think Aron is right when she says that we need to start conversing with others about sensitivity in light of its benefits and assets instead of the pervasive Western view that it indicates some hidden neurotic component or an antisocial quality. She prophetically states that the world needs us. The world needs more HSPs to become leaders and emerge from the shadows, where we've been pushed for far too long. If you suspect you might be an HSP, or if you are married to one and tend to view his/her sensitive nature as flawed, read this book. It's an eye-opener, refreshing, and offers deep but practical insights into the realm of sensitivity. Aron's psychological research adds credibility and substantiates her premise about defining what sensitivity is and how it should be viewed. Included in the book are tips for talking about your sensitivity to teachers, employers, family members, spouses, etc. Aron also weaves practical advice and techniques for tapping in to your sensitivity throughout each chapter.

I loved this book! I related a lot and it Meade me feel seen and also learn a lot about how to handle certain situations and understand my feelings.

The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is a concept coined by psychologist Elaine Aron to describe individuals who possess a heightened sensitivity to stimuli, both physical and emotional. This sensitivity can lead to a range of challenges, including feeling overwhelmed by crowds, noise, or intense emotions. In her book, 'The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You,' Aron provides a comprehensive exploration of this trait. She draws on her extensive research and clinical experience to offer practical strategies and insights for HSPs to navigate their unique experiences. Key Features: * Comprehensive Understanding: Aron provides a thorough explanation of the HSP trait, its characteristics, and the challenges it presents. * Practical Strategies: The book offers a wealth of practical tips and techniques for HSPs to manage their sensitivity, cope with stress, and create a more fulfilling life. * Self-Care and Boundaries: Aron emphasizes the importance of self-care and setting boundaries to protect HSPs from sensory overload and emotional exhaustion. * Support and Validation: The book provides a sense of validation and support for HSPs, helping them understand that their sensitivity is not a flaw but a strength. * Case Studies and Personal Narratives: Aron includes real-life examples and personal narratives from HSPs, offering a relatable and inspiring perspective. Benefits: * Increased Self-Awareness: HSPs gain a deeper understanding of their unique trait and how it affects their lives. * Improved Coping Mechanisms: The practical strategies provided help HSPs develop effective ways to manage their sensitivity and reduce overwhelm. * Enhanced Resilience: By learning how to navigate their challenges, HSPs can build their resilience and thrive in an often overwhelming world. * Reduced Stress and Anxiety: The techniques in the book help HSPs reduce stress, anxiety, and sensory overload, promoting a more balanced and fulfilling life. * Connection with Others: The book provides a sense of community for HSPs, helping them connect with others who share their experiences. Conclusion: 'The Highly Sensitive Person' is an invaluable resource for individuals who identify as HSPs. Aron's comprehensive approach provides a deep understanding of this trait, practical strategies for coping, and a sense of validation and support. By embracing their sensitivity, HSPs can unlock their potential and create a fulfilling life in a world that often feels overwhelming.

This may be the best book I have read in years. Maybe a decade. I was a year and a half into a very stressful job with a bully boss when I found this book -- I'd heard about it for years but thought the title sounded girlie and wimpy so I hesitated to read it. I don't like gooey, emotional, sappy stuff. Well guess what... no sap here. Or at least so little sap that a person who doesn't like sappy didn't really notice. Instead I found a smart, astute, science-based book which explained to me why I was slowly dying at my job, why I could not sleep at night, and why I was so stressed at work that I literally could not stomach my sandwich at lunch but would almost throw it up every day (but I could eat at home) -- I was operating at a level of physical stress which was impossible for a highly sensitive person to sustain, and yet I was somehow sustaining it. (I am very stubborn.) Once I actually looked at myself, looked at my actual situation, stopped blaming myself for being "weak" and "broken" and "not tough enough" and stopped trying to be what I am not, I saw clearly that I was ignoring my physical body's symptoms of extreme stress and hurting myself bad. Reading this was a wake up call at a time in my life when I really needed it, and gave me enough confidence to finally stand up to my impossible to please, bullying, manipulative boss and just quit. I am going back to school and retraining to become a software developer so that I can work in an environment that won't kill me. Not everyone is the same; everyone has different physical tolerances. If you find yourself "too sensitive" etc, give yourself a break. You are not a clone of the extrovert next to you. Pay attention to your body and read this book. IF YOU ARE AN EXTROVERT, PLEASE READ THIS BOOK. If you are NOT highly sensitive, please read this book!!! I wish to God every human being would read this book so people could finally start understanding each other, and society in general would stop hurting those among them who are not built with the same nervous system that the 80% majority of humanity has!!!! This has nothing to do with race boundaries, religion, nationality... this is all about pure genetics and how our species (in fact how over 100 species on this planet) function. It's ground breaking work.

Reading this book felt like coming home. It explained why I cry so easily (especially even during happy moments), why I crave nature and quiet, why I'm the type to "go with my gut" (and am usually right), why I cannot watch stressful, violent or disturbing shows or movies, why music moves me so powerfully, why I feel like I constantly have to take time for myself, why I feel like I live at a much slower pace than everyone else around me, why I have always had digestive issues, and so much more. Elaine is also an HSP so she writes not only from professional experience, but personal as well. She takes on a tone of acceptance and empowerment throughout the book, which is radically different than what most of us are used to hearing as an HSP. I wish I would have known about this personality trait and read this book as an adolescent. It would have saved me from so much grief and struggling to try and be something I was not. My husband has read it too and it has made a night and day difference almost in our marriage. He suddenly gets things that I have struggled for the past ten years to put into words. And he's also discovered that while he may not be an HSP, he is still at least moderately sensitive, so the book has helped him a lot too. To quote Frida Kahlo (who was probably an HSP too): “I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it's true I'm here, and I'm just as strange as you.” If you even suspect you are an empath or highly sensitive person, or you think a loved one might be --- please, please, please read this book. It is not a difficult read and it is not a long book. It will give you so much insight into this amazing personality trait. Empaths/HSPs are not weird, they're not "wrong" or broken. They just have a different set of needs because of how they are made.

Reading this book, i felt as i was looking at a mirror. Elaine goes into details regarding the way an HSP feels, the way we are raised, how we perceive the world, our habits, as well as the challenges we face in the world. It makes you really feel identified and i a way special, after years of being treated the opposite, this book DOES make you feel special. The cons that I can’t ignore is that the writing is not the best. There were errors and awkwardness in the way it was written, also poor analogies and at times it would be confusing. More important yet is the fact that the research feels lacking. Elaine started her research in 1992 and this book was published just 4-5 years later. That is hardly enough time to come up with bold claims about society. Claiming that a percentage of the population have this trait changes everything, the way we see the world and ourselves. So all the claims made feel as speculation if there is not a proper research. She cites examples of patients and even real life artists and other famous people that lived long ago and she claims were HSP. I believe her conclusions are correct and feel very identified with this trait but I can’t think the trait exist unless there is enough research. Sure this is a research hard to conduct but still, these are life changing conclusions that can’t be taken blindly. Now this book is very old and Elaine probably wrote newest content in the field with more research involved. So i will look forward to read more of her work. I repeat, i feel the content is real and i feel i am an HSP but my review is meant to make HSPs aware that we need a stronger foundation and understanding of where we come from, maybe one day people will have more answers but for now i am using this space to pose the questions so that when other HSPs doubt the trait is real we already have answers that prove it.

This particularly book was the panacea of "new beginnings" for my son and me! Both of us--being "highly sensitive"--had suffered (yes, SUFFERED!) through daily life...without understanding that truly there IS a category in human nature that delineates "the highly sensitive person" from others in this world. But, finding this book had the effect of COMPLETELY CHANGING OUR LIVES...and gave us a new-found sense of "self-acceptance" that we had never known. The author succinctly points out the significant "differences" in these two "categories" in a practical and easy way, further including information of "how to" live in a world that is, generally, less sensitive. Even though the author is a psychologist, the book is written in "every day terms"...making it easy to understand...even if the reader is not trained as a clinician. I found it to be an enormously valuable book, addressing a subject which I had never found before...yet, one that proved to be one of the most useful books I have ever found on the subject! If YOU are a noticeably "sensitive person" who has found the rest of the world to be "a difficult place" which seemingly is filled with much LESS SENSITIVE PEOPLE than yourself (or a loved one)...If you tend to chide yourself for being "overly sensitive" and/or having an unusually "fragile nature," wherein others appear to misunderstand you...Or, if you are a person who is interested in helping others with such traits to function more securely and confidently in the world...then, THIS IS THE BOOK FOR YOU!! Reading and understanding the "wisdom" found in this book...is one of the BEST THINGS that can ever happen to individuals who "don't seem to FIT" in this world...due to their exquisitely "tender" feelings and reactions...or, such was the case for my son and me. And, I continue to "study" its contents as a means of reassurance that my own nature--though different from the majority of others--is still "acceptable" (and even laden with unusual "gifts" that can often benefit others) in a less-sensitively perceived world!

One of the most valuable things I read in my life. If you are struggling with sensibly, this book feels like it’s about you. I recommend it if you are the sensitive type. It will explain in details what is going on your head so you can label things when they happen. This way it helps to anticipate these feelings rather than simply having to deal with them when they occur and be devastated by them. I wish I read it earlier.

I first heard the term "a highly sensitive person" in a YouTube video and was intrigued, because so much of what was described just fit. The way I feel the world and how I always felt like something is wrong with me – because other people seemed to not care too much about such small things that annoyed me a lot. Thanks to this book now I know: nothing is wrong with me. High sensitivity is not a disorder like ADHD or OCD — it's simply a trait you're born with, like being red-headed, left-handed, or gay. It means my brain and nervous system process information and emotions more deeply than most people do. And I'm not alone: 15–20% of people on Earth are highly sensitive, and this trait shows up in many other animals too. I took the test from the book out of curiosity, and was honestly surprised to find 23 out of 25 answers were positive 😆 If you recognize yourself in the questionnaire too, I really recommend this book. It became a guide for me in navigating a world that is not always designed for sensitive people.

This is an amazing book. It explains me in a comprehensive way that no other book on my self-help journey has quite been able to. Not only am I highly sensitive, I am also score highly on sensation seeker traits. This explains a lot. I found the book to be so on the mark and insightful it was at times uncomfortable. Like many highly sensitive people, I have attempted to deny my sensitivity due to being told off for it as a child and people trying to correct it out of me or put me down for it like I was doing it on purpose and like it was something I was able to change. This book is very supportive and gives practical tips on how to handle the prejudice people like me have and do face in a non-highly sensitive culture. The only trouble for me with it was that even though the author promotes the good qualities inherent in the trait, I did find it hard to deal with the fact that I cannot ever change this about myself. I know it's all about self acceptance... but having pretended not to be so sensitive all my life, felt like it was something to deny if 'accused' of being that way... and being brought up to believe I could change this about myself... well it's made me feel a bit bleak in spite of the author's positivity about the specialness of the trait. On the one hand it's good to know that there is nothing wrong with me. But on the other hand I think I preferred thinking there was something wrong with me because that gave me hope that I could be fixed. Anyway, I thought others should be aware of that possibility in reading the book, not to put them off reading it, but instead to prepare them that they may need good support from loving caring people around them while coming to terms with certain key ideas in the book. Having said all that, I think it was essential reading in my case. I also found it so useful and good to read that I immediately bought the author's other book The Highly Sensitive Person In Love. I feel like these books are giving me what I kept trying to get from my mother, who loves me very much but is not highly sensitive herself and has been baffled by my troubles through life and despite her desire to help has not been able to offer me advice that works for me or relates to my experience of life. This book has been a Godsend from that point of view. I wish I had been told that I was hyper-sensitive, etc by people who didn't tell me off for it or always mention it as a negative thing. I wish I had read these books when I was 18 and starting to feel a bit alienated from people, I think it would have saved me from a lot of heartache and also from a breakdown I had at that time due to living as if I wasn't highly sensitive. It would have helped me have confidence in refusing to do things that are easy for non-highly sensitive people but traumatic to someone like me. This book heals all the times when I suffered and was told by people around me that I was over-reacting or exaggerating and not helped at times when I needed it the most as a result, simply because my experience differed from theirs in similar situations. If anyone has ever called you hyper-sensitive (*and especially if they have ever called you 'too-sensitive' which is even more critical and rejecting) then you need to read this book. Think of it this way, it's as if you are a cat who has been raised by dogs right now. You need to know that you are a cat, not a loser-dog. It's time to start rewarding our own strengths and appreciating ourselves and to stop trying to pretend we are the same as non-sensitive types despite all the pressure on us to conform to that ideal... or we can all just move to Sweden :-)

Very delayed shipping over a month. I almost cancelled this book. Lucky to them I really needed it. Seller replies so late on shipping follow up. Book material was so thin papercopy it is! I am happy with the content of the book though. Price is reasonable same as other books i bought. Lots of information and knowledge learned about HSP.

Highly recommended!

I didn't know anything about sensitivity, I struggled a lot for 2 years with almost everything which was infront of me. I was loosing my sense, I got depressed a lot of happened in my life in that 2 years and then recently I found this book (don't know how), the title made me purchase this book and boom at that time I understood that I was an HSP, just another normal human and nothing was wrong with me or around me. If you ever feel like giving up, tired of human experiences, cry over for almost everything, have violated boundaries then I ask you to go for this book. It helped me a lot more than I can imagine. I truly thank the author for this wonderful book. If you're an HSP, I tell you we're the luckiest beings with our super power. Don't let anyone put you down, fight for yourself, stand for yourself when nobody understands you. We got this, love.