Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl―A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship Paperback – October 1, 2002

It's true! Men DO love bitches!I've seen a lot of other reviews saying this book had a lot of contradicting statements though good values. "I hope no woman is following this word for word..." "It's a good book to teach women values of independence and looking to take after herself, but to take this book seriously should be a crime." I wanted to see what all the hype was about, especially after the title caught my eye.All of the values in this book prove true. They are all principles and tips that lead to a woman having more respect for herself, more happiness, more contentedness with herself and no one else, and joy from an internal and self-fulfilled source. Essentially, by acting like you don't need a man in your life-- because it's true!-- and not tolerating disrespect, you maintain this goddess mindset and preserve your dignity and pristine temple of self. This makes men go WILD!One of my previous boyfriends came back after I exuded these principles. He wasn't treating me right. As the book mentions, he will keep treating you that way if you let him because he knows you'll stick around if you tolerate it. So I had enough. I mustered enough self-worth and respect to say, "We're no longer going to be together." Just saying it isn't enough. It didn't stop until I packed my bags and left. He kept begging me to come back. I was firm and said, "No. We're just going to have to be friends." My bitchy demeanor had been given notice. I remember it like a gem. I was in the parking lot of his apartment complex, under the stars of the night. I had this new attitude, the "new-and-improved bitch". I was about to say goodbye after game night with some friends, and he was impressed with my self-serviced attitude. His eyes were glowing with raging attraction. He came close to my ear, whispered, "I'm sorry for what I'm about to do," and maneuvered away from my ear to face me. He closed his eyes, and came close slowly, kissing me in the softest, most romantic tone I've ever felt. Of course, I wanted it, too, but I "held my heart 10 feet away" like the book advises you to do, and I kissed him back. It's sexy for both parties, let me tell you! Since then, he's treated me with new-found respect, and I can sense his fear of stepping out of line. He knows I won't be afraid to leave the second he disrespects me or treats me a way I don't like. We've recently started dating again. Note: I did this before I've read this book, so this goes to show that this read is NOT just a placebo effect! :) The principles in this book truly do work.It exposes the dead-stoppers of a relationship that leads to a man's reversal of attraction. I've found that a lot of these principles are true based on my own experiences. I am considered an attractive woman by today's standards. However, I have always had this "needy" and "desperate" vibe that instantly turns men off. The SECOND I get over-emotional, men seemed to stop DEAD in their tracks, unsure of what to do like a deer in the headlights, and then start bouncing away. I've had rounds of men whom it seemed to go in a pattern with. They would be kind in the beginning. Next, I would start submitting to them, and then they would become aggressive, controlling, and manipulative jerks! (Sound familiar, anyone?)Shelly Argov is right: men don't want a submissive woman. They want a bitch to keep them on their toes because it gives them excitement! They want to continuously pursue you. Do this by telling them what's what and how you expect to be treated! They want someone who has their own life and own hobbies and own interests and is content with herself! THAT is what a total package babe is, and men are allured to this. They'll be stepping into line with the rest of your life with careful provision not to bother the perfect thing that you've already crafted it to be. They are mystified by it and drawn to it, awed by it, curious beings they are, and want to co-exist and live by what magnificent beauty you are in their eyes. This right here garners IMMENSE admiration and respect by men, and it won't be long before he starts treating you like a highly prized possession. The best part? You won't even have to change your life. He'll have to enhance his to be in yours.There were a few parts in the book that I have to pick a bone with, though. There were a lot of contradicting statements that made it hard to follow what you should actually think. For example, there was a lot of oscillation between "Tell him what you want" and "Don't tell him what you want." The first argument imposes the idea that you "treat him like his friends" and "give it to him straight". The second argument gives the impression that "you will give him the powers to take advantage of you". This ended up being confusing, and I wish that the author had clarified more the context and situations that these principles would be applicable to.Another abhorrent detail to the story that I disagree with is the cruelty of women treating men. There were stories included of women leaving men to soak in the rain for hours on end alongside with deliberately ruining laundry by mixing reds and whites. These stories weren't included for show of what not to do; they were included for show of what TO do. I found these suggestions horrifying, and I couldn't understand how a woman could reach a level so steep. But maybe that's because I'm too nice. ;)Finally, I felt like there were moments where the book was not encouraging women to embrace their self. One classic example I'd like to bring up is the chapter on "talking too much". Excuse me? I am a very outgoing person, and I love to talk because I love to bring up ideas and discuss patterns and express myself in this way. I talk about interesting things, and if the guy doesn't like it, then I don't need him! It's good to listen to one another, and it's great to have some space. Personally, I can't stand when a guy talks too much. However, the author discusses talking as though it is a crime. She mentions that women "who are quiet present a mystery, and that mystery draws guys in". I am interested to see how this one plays out. I think a quiet girl may draw a guy in, but Argov argues that women need to remain quiet throughout the relationship. My thought is: What's the point in having a relationship that you can't talk to your partner with about your exciting ideas and thoughts? How is that even a relationship at that point? Why put on a front that expects men to take notice and say something? Isn't that putting the man above you?All in all, I think this was a wonderful read. I was laughing towards the end of the book because everything said is so true and applicable as I think back to my own life. It's exciting to see that many of the values I've gained in my own journey of self-respect are reflected in this book, and I no longer feel alone in traveling my own path. I feel empowered. The second-to-last attraction principle resonated with me greatly, and it helped clarify some lingering doubts I've had about blocking other people. I recommend this book to any woman who has ever felt like she is too nice or too bitchy-- this book helps both opposing ends of the spectrum meet in the middle to create one classy, sexy woman!

This book has helped me communicate with men in a way that uplifts me, allowing me to attract the right candidates while easily letting go of those who are not aligned with me—without overanalyzing. As I apply its wisdom, I am aligning with a great man who is kind, healthy, happy, mature, and a true gentleman. He is positive, considerate, intelligent, successful, connected to the Lord, and easy to talk to. Sharing my life with him feels natural and fulfilling, and we are equally excited to spend time together and explore life’s adventures as partners.We navigate differences with understanding, choose to work things out with ease, and create a relationship filled with love, fun, and unwavering support—one that uplifts not only us but those around us.Through my recent journey of healing deep emotional and mental wounds in therapy and by reincorporating the guidance of this book, I believe I have done the internal work necessary to build and maintain the healthy, fulfilling relationship I deserve. This book has given me the clarity and confidence to welcome a man who has also done the work and is equally committed to building a strong, lasting partnership or marriage. I am grateful for the lessons in this book, excited for the love unfolding in my life, and I pray it brings positive results for you as well. ❤️

This book is a real eye opener.Women like to see potential. It’s a disservice to ourselves. Potential is just that. There’s so much of a trend these days to find “Build a Bear guys.”Think more of yourself.Men don’t think like women. Men just don’t “give chances” to women. They look for a sure thing, or at least what looks like it.Stop feeling needed by giving a man by giving. him “free therapy.”Step up your game.The book isn’t about being a “bitch,” but knowing you’re worthy and exuding that energy to attract better than what you may have been simply settling for. It makes sense. A easy, straightforward read.

Every woman must read! It will help you level up your dating life! I wish I read this sooner, but I believe I found it at the right time.

It’s a good book, very entertaining and educational BUT it’s TOO OLD. “Don’t call to his office, don’t fax him, don’t email him a million times, don’t call to his house” This books era has ended and we need a more modern version of this, more updated and with a more open minded perspective.

This is the holy grail of a women’s bible! It makes so much sense! I’m a woman who has always been a people pleaser, always, this book helped me realize that and how to essentially stick up for myself! I LOVED this book! I take it everywhere with me!