Needing to Know for Sure: A CBT-Based Guide to Overcoming Compulsive Checking and Reassurance Seeking

8 months ago, I had my first panic attack, which within a couple of weeks had developed into a whole range of different anxiety disorders.. depersonalisation, generalized anxiety disorder, derealisation, OCD.. depression, of course still having panic attacks ontop of it. Today I have little anxiety at all. I think what I did right was to face my fears.. I was afraid of going insane above all else, actually dying was way bellow it on the ladder of my many fears at the time. There was 1 thing that really stood out for me in my.. toolbox of life, and that was and still is my ability to problemsolve.. I had a problem, anxiety, and I would spend all my energy on solving it. What I feared the most changed with time after I sort of did exposure therapy on myself. My first dominant fear was that of developing a Seizure.. So while it paralyzed me at first, eventually I reached the point where I said "F it, I wanna know what this thing ruining my life really is" so I researched it, I read about, I talked to people who had it, until Seizure had become something I thought "ok.. if it happens, it's not so bad, I could live with that and actually many people do. I’ve tried multiple therapies, medications, meditations, supplements, diets, hypnosis and whatnot. I mean you name it and I probably have tried it. Although all these things helped me a lot in my recovery process, still I was feeling stuck. Coz with everything new technique, I was reassuring myself that this is gonna work and it never did! Lastly, I’ve started doing my own work. I ordered almost every good book I could find on Anxiety, Fear, Depression and OCD. I started reading intensively from morning to evening and did most of the exercises they tell you to do. Again, everything worked for a short period of time but nothing sticked. Or better say, I didn’t stick to one thing. Of all the books I’ve read so far, most of them are based on Therapies like CBT and ACT. I’d say this book stands out of every other book. A few factors I realized make this my top list are: 1. It’s the most recent book, the authors have combined 80 years of experience in treating people. So, you’d find most recent examples of people and their thoughts(which brings you kind of relief like you’re not alone) 2. The treatment method, the therapy they’ve explained is the most advance, easier(not lengthy) and to the point. Moreover, it focuses on the root cause of the issue. You’d clearly understand the workings of your mind once you go through the book. I can clearly see what I was doing wrong and Why I was stuck and most importantly how to get out of stuck state. I’m seeing far more improvement in me now than I used to before after my first read though I wanna read it again. Even though, Im not entirely through it yet. I still have some bad days, that due to my mind still having the anxious tendency tends to be worse than a regular bad day for a person usually is. I'm grateful for my fears. I was already in a pretty dark place way way before I had my first panic attack but that panic attack who invited more darkness into my life, also got me looking for sources of light to my darkness and I've found so much. Much more then I ever had to start with.. like a tough teacher who teaches you the value of positivity in your character and world by filling them with the opposite. Fear is an illusion of your mind, only fears that should be taken seriously.. seriously as in letting your fear take control of you, is that of the immediate physical nature. Such as a car headed straight for you or neighbors dog running for your grill with food on it, lol In the end, if you’re like me and you’ve tried all other different methods, read books but couldn’t see much progress then you should give this book a shot. I’m positive this book can and will bring a change into your life, you just have to read it probably many times and trust the process. I’m not a therapist but I promise you it’d be worth every penny of yours

I was recommended this book by my psychiatrist. I had some doubts at first, but picked it up. I then took it to my therapist, because we’d done some DBT before, and he gave it the green light. I have a strong history of abuse throughout my life, and I’ve been gaslit by so many people that it’s hard to know who to trust. THIS BOOK IS NOT A MAGIC BULLET. It IS, however, a full of great strategies to help you deal with the everyday doubts that mind race around your mind. It brought me some peace, and that’s the best recommendation I can make for it.

Having been psychologically stuck since outbreak of Covid have spent time attempting to g to locate material to assist in breaking this pattern. When I read Seif’s & Winston’s book became so clear how I have been using self talk reassurance and how this has aided me in remains my indecisive and stuck. (And this is after having been semester of CBT in the treatment of Depression CD traits for many years!). Am realizing so many coping mechanisms I’ve used in the past, though advocated in the mental health literature, can serve as reassurance that protects against accepting and even allowing the uncertainty inherent in life - in living. Have read and will continue to refer to this book as breaking learned reassurance habits takes commitment and time. Have also read their book specific to anticipatory anxiety - helpful too though this one more so.

My therapist recommended this to me and I hated it… mostly because the relatability of it made my body get hot and tense and only further confirmed my internalized OCD tendencies. So I guess it’s a good read. I think this will validate many, and provide a bit of additional tangible support to those who have none in their toolkit.

I have not yet finished reading this book - perhaps because I spend time highlighting and re-reading so many sections. I find it very thought-provoking. The authors challenge my way of thinking in a manner I find compelling and, ultimately, comforting. While making me "work", at the same time it is a pleasurable read. Drs. Winston and Seif have managed to combine what must be individual writing styles into a seamless presentation. I find that to be quite an accomplishment - one not often found in books by multiple authors. I'll check in again when I finish but, for now, I can confidently recommend this as a book that will help anyone better understand the causes, impacts and, finally, the ways to overcome the compulsion of 'needing to know for sure'.

I am still making my way through this book but highly recommend. Breaks things down into easy to digest concepts and makes me understand what someone with OCD copes with. While more than likely someone with OCD would still need proper therapy, it's a good starter book to begin to see how to approach managing this condition.

This book was really helpful to reenforce and Reiterate things I am learning in therapy. It also helps me feel more ‘seen’ compared to the stereotypical OCD symptoms

Winston and Seif hit the mark once again! This time addressing uncertainty and reassurance seeking in ways in which so many are intimately acquainted. I can’t wait to recommend this book to my clients. Just like Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts and What Every Therapist Needs to Know About Anxiety Disorders, this one will be on the shortlist of suggested reading for my many clients with anxiety, worry, and compulsions. I was happy to see the re-appearance of Worried Voice, False Comfort and Wise Mind, with Wise Mind fleshed out more fully than in previous books. Also, the case examples seemed to come directly from my therapy room couch. I know they will resonate with clients as they read about themselves, feeling both normalized and hopeful. Like with any good read, I found myself having a hard time putting the book down while simultaneously not wanting to reach the end. A.Yu, Licensed Psychologist

Like the other books of the same authors, it is super useful and shows you the way to recover

I read this book because I have trouble with uncertainty and it's been very helpful to change the way I think about uncertainty. it explains how to stop looking for reassurance and getting out of the reassurance trap. easy to read and makes perfect sense.

I think it has some valuable points for people, I think it depends on what you're dealing with but I understand what the message is overall. I have had ocd for years and I overcame many rituals by myself before this book and one thing that helped me was saying reassuring things to myself like, it's ok you can buy the thing and get rid of it later and I would slowly get used to something and could let it go or I can go to the party for half an hour and leave and this can be good because it creates exposure and gradually you begin to override certain compulsions but this book has some Contradictions and I believe recovery is not a one size fits all, so take what helps from this book and throw away the rest is my advice.

I have been suffering with intrusive thoughts for over 15 years. This book has made me realise I am not alone with this problem and has given me do much understanding and effective tools to deal with them. Amazing! Thank you so much

I bought this book after reading the equally wonderful ‘Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts’ by the same authors - which I would also highly recommend. This book has been wonderful for me as I have struggled badly with getting stuck in a derealisation and OCD loop where I was very frightened of the feeling so kept ‘checking’ to see if it had gone away and of course when you go looking for something you will always find it! This would make me more and more anxious. This book is really good because it teaches you about the way you create this loop for yourself and how it is the thinking process that is the issue rather that what you are actually worried about :) it has helped me very much so if you struggle with looped anxious thoughts, whatever they are, I think this book is a great help!