Connect

This is an excellent book written after decades of research and experience teaching interpersonal dynamics to Stanford students. Highly practical and experiential, it shows clearly how to approach six competencies in building exceptional relationships. Tackle 'pinches and crunches' and beware of going 'over the net', amongst other techniques. Just brilliant. Thank you, David and Carole. I will be recommending this to clients and colleagues.

Firstly I recommend anyone that intends to buy or read the book first listen to the episode of the ‘Feel Better, Live More’ podcast with the authors. The episode explores some of the key ideas covered in the book.The ‘stay on your side of the net’ and ‘three realities’ ideas are really simple, yet powerful. They are worth the price of the book alone.The case studies are a useful way of bringing the ideas to life although, like many books, I reckon it could’ve covered everything and been 1/3 shorter.

I did not find this book suited my needs

This book is amazing. I like to think of myself as an empathetic person who is good at developing relationships but upon reading Connect I realized I'm missing an entire world of connections given that I–up until now–have avoided conflict as much as possible. Consequently, I lose out on taking my relationships to another level, repairing ones I thought broken beyond fixing, and simply developing relationships with people who *seem* incompatible with my personality. Others have said that this book saved their marriages or helped them get promotions and I am excited to see what I can do with the tools I have now. Also, I just really loved the examples they wrote about! It was very helpful to read about how others in a variety of types of relationships take their relationships to the next level.

I took the famed ‘Touchy Feely’ course with Carole at Stanford, and I still got so much out of this book. Self-disclosure can feel scary, and they provide a powerful framework on how to approach it (whether in your work or your personal life) in a way that will strengthen your relationships. They also share how all behavioral feedback is positive if you stick with your reality, speaking to the behavior and its impact on you versus the other person’s intent. I loved how each chapter was set up to reflect on how you can apply your learnings to the important relationships in your life. I personally recognized a few ‘pinches’ that I need to address from a place of curiosity before they develop into a ‘crunch’.