Lost at School MP3 CD – MP3 Audio, December 29, 2015

This book completely changed the way I think about kids who struggle with behavior. Instead of assuming they’re being difficult on purpose, the book helped me see that a lot of the time, they’re struggling because they can’t do well—not because they won’t. That idea really stuck with me.What I love is how practical and real the book is. It’s not just theory—it gives clear examples and shows you how to actually work with a child to figure things out together. It’s not about punishment, it’s about teamwork and problem-solving.As a para works in the school, this book has been super helpful. I work with students who need extra support, and this gave me a better understanding of what they’re going through—and how to actually support them instead of just reacting.

Really informative and engaging read. Highly recommend for anyone who works in education, especially K-12 schools.

In Lost at School, Ross W. Greene offers a groundbreaking approach to understanding and assisting behaviorally challenging students in the educational system. Building on his previous work, The Explosive Child, Greene critiques traditional disciplinary measures—such as detentions and suspensions—which often prove ineffective for the very children they aim to correct. Instead, he presents a compelling, research-backed alternative through his Collaborative Problem Solving framework.Greene emphasizes that children with behavioral challenges are not inherently manipulative or unmotivated; rather, they often lack the necessary skills to behave adaptively. By identifying the underlying triggers and lagging skills that contribute to difficult behavior, educators and parents can foster positive interactions and help these children succeed. Through a series of practical tools and insightful guidance, Greene illustrates how to approach these situations with understanding and patience.Filled with real-life examples, dialogues, and a narrative that follows a specific child's journey, Lost at School is both accessible and enlightening. Dr. Greene's work is backed by years of experience and dedication, providing a sense of hope and actionable strategies that can profoundly impact classroom experiences for challenging kids. This essential resource is a must-read for educators and parents looking to create a more effective and compassionate learning environment.

To be honest, this book rubbed me the wrong way. But the ideas are good enough and important enough that I gave it 4 stars anyway.I recommend _Lost at School_ together with Russell Barkley's _Your Defiant Child_ and _Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child_ by John Gottman. Together, the three books provide a nice starter set of tools for teaching kids how to navigate their socio-emotional world. (But good luck with synthesizing the advice. These are very different perspectives.)PROS of Lost at School:1. Makes a great case for providing behavioral accommodations for kids, that kids aren't 'bad' if they need movement breaks, or a chill-out space. Plus, you'll save time and improve results in the long run.2. Somewhat wordy, yet convincing paraphrase of the Winston Churchill quote "However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results." So if the same kids are landing in the principal's office over and over again, it couldn't hurt to try something different.3. The strategy itself is handy in all of your relationships that include occasional conflict (so all but the really, really superficial ones), not just at school. By extension, hopefully using this strategy at school will give students important relationship skills they can use in their homes and workplaces after they graduate.4. It's actually easier and takes less time than behaviorism to implement correctly.THE STRATEGY in a NUTSHELLGreene proposes the use of Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS or Plan B for short). A brief summary goes like this: When people have conflict it's because they both have needs and one or both person's needs aren't being met with the current system. For example, I need my students to get a lot of work and learning done. Some of them need more sleep or a movement break, or information presented differently so they can understand, or whatever. When I insist that the rules are 'You can't lay your head down, 'I'm only going to give the directions once' or 'You can only go to the bathroom between classes, or if I am convinced that it is an emergency' then I have set up a win-lose situation, and one that only acknowledges my concerns. If we both put our concerns on the table, it allows for more flexible problem solving, and requires the student to have both input and responsibility for the solution. Some of it is just admitting that we can't really control other people and collaboration is necessary. (i.e. I might be able to persuade you to stay in class by imposing sanctions, but I can't make you pay attention.) Greene provides steps for his collaborative problem solving strategy. They are pretty thorough and easy to understand. Plus, I found I could incorporate bits of the strategy/philosophy even when I chose not to use the strategy as written.CONS:1. Greene spends a lot of time insisting that this is the BEST strategy EVER, for EVERY child. I disagree, but even if it's true, it's wasted time and was the one of the main reasons I did not enjoy reading the book. A better marketing strategy would have been 'try it, you'll like it.' It is a really good strategy, and people who try it are likely to keep using it.2. The catchphrase, "Kids do well when they can." I remember being a kid. Maybe I'm just not as nice as the kids Greene has worked with, but I can remember times when I wouldn't have given a rat's patootie about doing well if not for some kind of reward/punishment system. (The reason I can remember is because it was yesterday when I was paying my bills.) I will allow that subtle systems with social praise/mild disapproval are enough to work most of the time. I also completely agree that no amount of motivation will work if kids are put in a situation where they don't have the skills to be successful. Still, the absolute nature of the catchphrase is just inaccurate and off-putting.3. He bashes other strategies, often without adequate reason. This was a big turn-off for me, but doesn't change my opinion that Greene's strategy is an effective tool. Examples of inappropriate bashing included: flinging pebbles at ABA therapy (which has been shown to help children with autism significantly) and comparing behaviorism done poorly with CPS implemented correctly. Likewise, the self-selected resource rooms Greene mentions. I don't have a Ph.D, and I know why that information is biased. I'm sure he does, too. For me, this put quite a dent in Greene's credibility, and I was unenthusiastic about CPS as a result. Luckily, I'll try anything new when what I'm doing isn't getting the job done, or I never would have tried his Collaborative Problem Solving. Which would have been a real loss.Bottom line is, it's not the only strategy you'll ever need, but you should try it. You'll like it.