Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Paperback – 8 Sept. 2009

As I said in the title, this book is the best and most helpful book I’ve ever read on this subject. It talked about things that I never considered in my childhood and helped me to find clarity and understanding about the ways I was affected by my abusive childhood. Not only did it open my eyes to what I endured but it showed me a way forward in my own recovery. I was able to look at how I parented my own children, the mistakes and the successes. I can’t recommend this book highly enough! I’ve had various counselling over the years but I can honestly say that nothing has been as helpful in my recovery as this book. Thank you Karyl, although I don’t know you, I will always be so grateful for all that you helped me to discover and heal from with this book 😊

There is not a single page in this book which doesn't resonate with me. I was my mother's mini-me, her mirror of the world, my actions a reflection of her, and, always, always, I had to present perfection and a happy exterior. As a child I knew this was an odd existence and I knew I was being set up to fail but I had no voice nor the language of empathy to express my feelings. Everything was superficial, about how 'other people' would perceive me (or rather her). I just tried to please and to seek acknowledgement at every turn but ultimately was left wondering why I never received it and why I was never quite good enough. I am 50 now and my mother died nearly 15 years ago. I saw the light in my early 20s and knew that I had to begin the process of disassociation but I had no explanation for what was going on around me. Now I know what has been going on.If you are wondering whether this is a painfully exposing read, it is not. It is written in a friendly, hugely accessible way - like talking to someone who really knows you well - but if you are not already in therapy you may want to consider dovetailing this with some counselling. I have nearly finished my training as a counsellor and this book has opened up elements of my Jungian 'shadow', freeing me to think independently and enabling me to understand my behaviour, my past relationships and the way I interact with my own children today. The book is divided into three sections: 1/ Recognising the Problem 2/ How Narcissistic Mothering affects Your Entire Life; and finally 3/ Ending the Legacy. The check lists, the questions to ask ourselves and the tips and suggestions for 'managing' your mother are relevant and achievable. There are masses of case studies and reflections from McBride's own clients which make the text real. The book doesn't advocate happy endings or attempt to encourage us achieve harmonious relationships with our mothers, rather it offers ways to keep safe, to foster healthy relationships away from mother with a focus on our own internal healing. The focus of the book is on dealing with a mother who is still alive so my only small gripe is that there is one small paragraph entitled 'What if mother is deceased?' I would have liked to see a bit more on this aspect but I think this is where therapy comes in. However, do not let this put you off. Reading this book has been a true revelation but, most importantly, I now realise that I am not alone.

This book has really helped me and has opened my eyes to a lot of things. No doubt I will refer back to it numerous times.Thank you Karyl for taking the time to help others.

Yup, good overarching self help book on the subject. If I wasn’t already knee deep in therapy on the subject, would have even picked up a few things. Codependency is fun and yum

I have just got this book so not fully read it all yet - but I must say that what I have read so far makes complete sense - it helps to understand what has happened , will help anyone who has been through this, or if you know someone, read it to gain insight and awareness. With insight and awareness we can all benefit for positive changes.I was the victim of a narcissistic mother and believe me this book has captured the issues well. It has been like reading my life in a book. The AUTHOR is an excellently good writer and I recommend you read this book, as it is well written, many other books I have read start to say there is a problem but do not explain WHY but this author has managed to do it all very well.Whether I or anyone would be able to actually complete the 2nd section - Ending the Legacy - without help from a therapist is what I am wondering right now ? if anyone has finished this book and it helped please write a review. I have already accepted the first stage when I found this book so the hard recovery section 2 and 3 I hope will help me find my true self.*I keep reading the first part of the book just because it describes my experiences better than I have been able to describe them myself with a better understanding.