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L**E
New Year’s Resolutions Fail 92% of the Time. But Mini Habits WORKS
(This review was completely rewritten on December 26, 2018. Because WOW, Mini Habits has totally changed my life!)According to the University of Scranton, Journal of Clinical Psychology (2012), New Year’s resolutions have an abysmal success rate of only 8%.What this means, of course, is that 92% of all the New Year’s resolutions that will be made six days from now, are never going to happen. The majority of these resolutions will fall by the wayside within the first couple of weeks.I was looking back over my old blog posts recently and I saw where I had made the declaration on New Year’s Day in 2016 that I was going to finish writing my memoir by the end of that year. And it never happened.About 80% of us intend to write a book someday, according to what I have read. And, for the vast majority of people, that “someday” for writing a book never comes.The first time I tried to write a story about my life, I was in my twenties. I thought I was ready to tell my real-life horror to healing story, but I wasn’t even close to being ready.Today, four decades later, thanks to all the healing therapy that I have had in recent years, I know that I’m as ready as I will ever be to share my story with the world. But even so, writing my memoir is still very hard. It is all too easy, on any given day, to come up with one excuse after another for putting off writing. “I’ll do it tomorrow!”But tomorrow never comes. All we have is today.Sometimes, like when I made a determined New Year’s resolution, I would get all excited and write like my brain was on fire for several mega productive days in a row. But sooner or later, something always happened that seemed bigger than my ability to write, and I wouldn’t get any writing done that day.Sometimes the problem might simply be a headache. At other times, I was just too tired to write. I might get some worrisome news from someone I love, or maybe see something on the national news that upset me. Some days I was too busy running errands, or doing laundry, or taking care of our rescue dogs.There were also many times when I was planning to write a part of my story that was especially painful to think about, and on that particular day I would rather think happier thoughts and enjoy where my life is right now. For all of these and many other reasons, I kept setting my manuscript aside, intending to come back to it tomorrow, or next week, or next month — or next year.This has been my reality for far too many years. Trying and failing, and trying and failing, and trying and failing again, to write a memoir. Even on those days when my writing was going great, I was rarely capable of keeping up the momentum for long. Usually, one solid week of writing every day was the best I could manage at a time. Which is pretty much the longevity of the average New Year’s resolution!Writing so sporadically kills the continuity, too. I kept losing the “flow” in my writing. For this reason, even though I tried really hard to pick up where I had left off, I found that I couldn’t do it, after too many days of not writing had gone by. Which means I kept starting my memoir all over again. I haven’t kept count, but I probably did this hundreds of times.More than anything that I may ever accomplish in this life, I want to finish and publish my memoir. Lord willing, I don’t want to take my story to the grave.But I am not going to make another New Year’s resolution next week, only to fail before the month is out. And that’s okay, because I don’t need to make any more New Year’s resolutions to write my memoir. Why? Because 111 days ago, on September 7, 2018, I discovered an entirely new way of getting myself to write, every single day.So far, this new way of building a daily writing habit is working perfectly for me. For the past 110 days, I have not missed a single day of meeting my memoir writing goal. (I haven’t done today’s memoir writing yet, which is why I say 110 days, instead of 111. But I have no doubt that I will meet my writing goal for today, before I go to bed tonight.)I met my writing goal even on November 20, when my doctor told me that I had skin cancer and needed surgery right away. I met my writing goal on Thanksgiving, as we traveled to be with family. I met my writing goal on December 6, when I checked into the hospital and had surgery under general anesthesia. I met my writing goal on the day after my surgery, when I was in pain and feeling very woozy. I met my writing goal while my husband and I have been battling a miserable flu of some kind for the past couple of weeks. Through headaches, stomach aches, and coughing fits that almost made me pass out, I have met my writing goal every single day.And then there was Christmas! That’s right, I met my writing goal on Christmas eve and on Christmas day.When people came to visit, I met my writing goal. When we had places to go and errands to run, I met my writing goal. When I got some very bad news about my precious aunt, and when I read things in the news media that shattered my heart, I met my writing goal. Even when I was writing very hard things, I still met my writing goal. Regardless of what has been going on, even on the most challenging of days, I have met my writing goal every day for the past 110 days, without missing one single day.I have never been able to do this before. It’s like a miracle — and yet, this method is completely natural — which is why it works so well!This new way that I have found to reach my daily writing goal, doesn’t just work for writing. This method works for any kind of goal that you may want to implement in your life. Five days after I started my memoir writing goal on September 7, I added two daily exercise goals and one daily housework goal. And I haven’t missed any of those goals, either, since I started my three additional goals on September 12. For the past 105 days, through all of the ups and downs: cancer scare, surgery, being sick, bad news, and the holidays, I have met every one of my four daily goals, every single day.Not only have I met my goals every day — on the vast majority of days I have actually exceeded my goals, usually by a tremendous amount.With the exception of having the flu and my recent surgery — which turned out NOT to be cancer, yay! — this is the best my life has been, EVER. Thanks to all the planks I’m doing and the miles I’m putting on my exercise bike, my muscle tone is the best that it’s been in decades. Best of all, I have written so much further than I’ve ever written in my memoir before — and I am still going strong!So — how is this even possible? When 92% of New Year’s Resolutions fail, when approximately 80% of us want to write a book and never do, and when the vast majority of exercise programs fall by the wayside within the first month — after all the years that I have tried, and failed, over and over again, to write a memoir and to get my muscles in better shape — HOW am I doing this?Here’s how: I bought a book. I read it. And I did what it said.I have read countless self-help, how to write, how to overcome writer’s block, and how to stop procrastinating books, within the past half century. And yet all of those books failed me, just like my New Year’s resolutions always failed.But Mini Habits by Stephen Guise actually works.Take it from an expert in trying and failing to meet an important goal: forget New Year’s resolutions. Whether your goal is getting in shape, cleaning up a terminally messy house, writing a book, pursuing higher education, or whatever you want to accomplish, if Mini Habits can work for me, I believe it can work for anybody.What’s so different about Mini Habits? The science behind it, that’s what’s different. Mini Habits works, because this is the way our amazing brains were created to work.Thank you for reading my review. God bless, and have a Happy Mini Habits New Year!
B**N
Mini Habits work
Mini Habits work. Here's my proof:For many years, I was a regular exerciser. My zeal for exercising ebbed and flowed, but I always did something on a regular basis to get my heart pumping. At my best, I walked to the gym in 25-degree weather - in shorts, because I'm not smart - and I ran several miles on the treadmill. I exercised even more when I had a gym in my apartment building. I felt great, and I never once questioned whether exercising was a worthwhile practice. It so obviously improved every facet of my life.Then, a few years ago, I stopped. Maybe it was moving out of the building with the gym. Maybe work got busier. Maybe it was having a kid. Whatever the reason, my exercising habit dwindled and eventually disappeared outright. I could not find the time or - more importantly - the motivation to fit in a half-hour of exercise into my days.As is true of all habits, not exercising became easier and more ingrained each day I did it. Not only was it easier physically to lay in bed rather than run on a treadmill, my brain became better and better at justifying my lack of exercise:"I have no time - not in the morning, the afternoon, the evening, weekends, weekdays. It's too cold out. It's too cold in. My gym is too far away [my gym was a block away; I could see my apartment building from the treadmills]. I would definitely exercise at Equinox, but I can't afford to join. If I had a treadmill at home, I would run every day. I can't do exercise DVDs because it would annoy the people living below us. Exercising would take away time I could be spending with my wife and our new baby. What if my son ended up in therapy because daddy was too busy exercising to play with him? I can't risk it."Even more insidiously, my lazy brain began implanting deeper ideas that would prevent me from exercising today, or tomorrow, or any day: "Does exercise really matter? I'm a cerebral guy - who cares what my body looks or feels like? Sure, exercise is great for Michael Phelps, but I don't need it. My life is just fine without it."But it affected me. While I maintained a healthy weight through dieting, and I walked several miles each day as part of a normal life in New York City, I could still feel the lack of regular cardio exercise, the kind that really gets my heart pumping. I felt the lack of exercise in my chest. My body dragged. I was in lousy shape. Climbing a flight of stairs caused me to lose my breath. While singing songs to my baby son, I had to pause for breath between each verse. I even confessed to a friend that "I get winded while whistling."In the back of my mind, I had the nagging notion that I was hurting myself by not exercising. But it was dwarfed by the impeccable, inarguable logic behind a sedentary lifestyle.To the tiny extent that I did want to exercise, the idea of running a few miles seemed like torture. But of course, I couldn't do any less than that. I was going to exercise perfectly, or not at all.I waited in vain for my old motivation to suddenly return, for the day when I'd wake up, realize how vital exercise was, jump out of bed, and run five miles with a smile on my face. But it never came.A few months ago, I read Mini Habits; and everything Stephen said about willpower and motivation lined up with my own experience. He understood every dirty trick my brain had pulled to keep me from disrupting my lazy, comfortable, and deeply unhealthy equilibrium.I decided to build the Mini Habit of exercising for 5 minutes per day. My Mini Habit would, at least initially, consist of running in place in our backyard if the weather was good, or in our laundry room if it wasn't. It felt absurd, like it would accomplish nothing, but it was an exercise commitment that flew under the radar of every excuse that my brain could come up with. My brain simply said, "Sure, whatever, Carl Lewis. Have fun with your 'exercise'. Maybe you'll qualify for the New York City Marathon over in the laundry room."That night, I laced up my sneakers and headed to the laundry room. My brain didn't try to stop me. I huffed and puffed in place for five minutes. When my timer went off, I wheezed, "Oh, thank you, thank you" and, coursing with relief, I threw off my sneakers.That was 85 nights ago, and I haven't missed a night of exercise since then. A few weeks ago, I felt comfortable enough to bump up my Mini Habit to ten minutes of exercise per night. A few days ago, I added 2 1/2 minutes of crunches after I run in place.If any of this becomes too onerous, I'll shift back to five minutes per night until I'm comfortable exercising again. For now, though, it feels right; and every night of exercise makes the next night easier to accomplish, physically and mentally.Eventually I hope to build back up to a half-hour of running, and not just running in place. But I know I'll get there; and I know that it will only happen if I continue to do something - however small - instead of nothing.Even with only 5-10 minutes of cardio every night, I feel so much better. I breathe easier. I walk faster. I sing - and even whistle - without any detrimental effects.Perhaps most importantly, and fully in line with the book's philosophy on exercise and willpower, exercising has slowly brought back my motivation to exercise. I'm remembering how good I feel when I'm a regular exerciser, the joy of resting, covered in sweat, after I've pushed myself to accomplish something physically difficult. I get excited picturing how my body will eventually look. I'm realizing - once again - how important regular exercise is to my physical, mental, and emotional health.After 85 nights, I'm excited about this. Slowly, over several months, exercising has once again become a part of my identity. None of it happened magically overnight. It happened in sweaty five- and ten-minute mini-increments.Mini Habits helped me improve a vital area of my life when nothing else worked. Thank you to Stephen for inventing such a fantastic concept. I hope that anyone who wants to make a similar change will give Mini Habits a try.
M**N
Extremely helpful!
I am on the last chapter of the book and I've already successfully implemented 3 mini habits into my life. I've also gifted it to a few friends. Easy to read. Short and sweet. It is a little repetitive, otherwise I would have given it a full five stars. Definitely recommend!
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