Like Dragons Did They Fight: A Look Into the Addiction Fighting Principles of the Sons of Helaman Program

I have read many books on addiction recovery, and this one is the absolute worst! This author has no CSAT (certified s*x addiction therapist) training and has no business treating addicts or petitioning LDS church leaders to push his program, which is against church policy in the first place. Patrick Carnes has the best credibility on s*xual addiction therapy, no contest!Here are several (but not even all) of my concerns with this method:He has a parable about how kids get trapped in p***ography. In a nutshell, he likens it to righteous Nephites training for battle, doing all the right things, and innocently drinking water from a natural source. But low and behold, unbeknownst to them, the Lamanites had ever so slowly poisoned the water! Now these poor, innocent souls are intoxicated and cannot battle. I beg to differ, Mr. Harker. Even as young children, these kids knew what they were viewing was wrong from the very first look.He goes on to say how Satan learned from scientists how to manipulate the "Deviant S*x Chemicals" in our brains to get us to soothe our pains. Although addiction is a maladaptive way to cope with painful emotions, Satan can do nothing but lie to us. Our s*x drives are God given not "deviant", and Satan has no power to get in and "manipulate" chemicals in our brains! We are in control of our actions and thoughts. And the physical reactions in our bodies are natural consequences of self abuse. Satan has nothing to do with how our brains function.Because your brain can't tell the difference between real and imagined experiences, he has you tap into your body's "Warrior Chemistry" to produce an adrenaline rush. Two examples of how to do this are to imagine your wife or mom getting violated or to imagine an intruder coming in with a knife to slit your baby daughter's throat! (No joke, see top of page 93)His patronizing of women is horrendous! He claims Satan's goal with p**nography is to make women cry...as if women are helpless, pathetic creatures needing a warrior's protection and good deeds to “bring a smile to [their] face[s]”. Also, his idea that boys don't tell their mothers because they love and respect them so much is a bunch of bunk! Those with addiction don't tell, because they feel shame. P***ography is all about objectifying women! I felt my loved ones' disrespect of women long before I even understood why.He claims warriors graduate his program with 12 consecutive weeks of sobriety, but as I read the explanation, he is using a very loose definition of sobriety. It is unclear as written. He says after 6 weeks, the bar is raised, and a visit to soft p**n or self stim*lation drops you back to 6 weeks, not all the way to 0 weeks. What? How is that a raised bar? And how does that possibly even count as 12 consecutive weeks sobriety?One of his methods of gaining sobriety is to set goals, increasing in length. Once he makes it to his goal, he is allowed a day of rest, and "He does not make much of an effort to win." Harker claims the Holy Ghost supports this method and only withdraws for a brief time. I wonder what right Harker has to speak for the Holy Ghost? This doesn't speak peace to my heart at all.This method may have some truths mixed into it, but overall, it has the feel of a dry drunk option. Here is something he got right: women DO have a sense for these things. My "creepy guy detector" goes off all throughout this book! He uses flattery to take away accountability for one's own thoughts and actions and essentially preaches that the devil made you do it. It is more about giving credit to the devil's power than relying on Christ's.I happen to know several men in true addiction recovery. They didn't get there by "fighting like dragons" but by surrendering completely to God. They had to acknowledge that they DID have character weaknesses, and take responsibility for their own actions. 12 Steps works when a person is ready for lasting change.Just one opinionated woman's review:)

The author works with young men of the Mormon faith who are stuggling with pornography addiction. In order for them to serve as missionaries, or later get married in the Mormon temple, they must demonstrate a reasonable level of sobriety. Harker’s methods are unorthodox and he uses a military training-style that puts the young men in small teams who work together for a common goal. They are given drills they must do at home like “going to the flag pole”. This is place near where they live where they can immediately go to gather their thoughts when they are tempted to relapse. By practicing the drill, when they actually do have a moment of weakness, they are ready to go directly to the flagpole. It’s usually the mailbox or something nearby like a stop sign. It gets them out of the immediate environment (alone with a computer or electronic device) and gives them time to think and avoid the relapse. His methods work for this particular niche of young LDS men dealing with this problem, but with few exceptions like working as teams and the “flag pole”, they probably won’t be as appealing to others outside the church trying to overcome pornography addiction. Having said that, as someone who also works with addicts in another state, I welcome any new therapies that work. It looks like Harker is on to something.

This book actually gives you help and support to help your children and any others of your family members to give them ideas what they need to do to help themselves to overcome troubles and set goals.

Great book for over coming addiction

See my opinion of the program in paragraph 3 before moving to the next review:1)This book begins by opening up with various techniques and principles associated with pornography addiction and how youth can catch and overcome it. I find the approach fascinating and potentially empowering for many youth, and particularly LDS youth.2)At some point, the book transitions to the insides and outs of their youth program and they encourage youth in need to participate in this program. They also give tips and ideas to the various individuals that interact with the addicted youth.3)I greatly encourage parents and bishops to not steer from taking further action through this program... Learning on site through the testimonies and experiences of other teens will be the most powerful education for your youth.4)I feel like this book takes addiction seriously and knows that it can't be overcome by knowledge itself, that counseling and therapy are likely necessitated. I believe the methods could be very effective. The knowledge of addiction, however, that can be found in this book, is somewhat limited and will most likely be found in taking more action through program participation.

I think this is an absolutely fantastic Buck! The reason that I am only giving it four stars is because it doesn't meet our needs as much as I had hoped. I have a son who has normal hormones but who has delayed cognition. I think that this is a fun and entertaining way to get the point across and help talk about a very challenging subject. I just wish there were pictures or something maybe simpler text I'm not exactly sure how it could be better to help the specific population that I'm looking for. I know my circumstances and situation is different than most people so if you have a neurotypical Child you will probably not be disappointed in this book at all! Because our circumstances are unique I think it makes this book a little bit more challenging. I would love to see the same idea in more of a picture book format or with simplistic words that are easy to follow on a third or fourth grade level.

Muito bom, o livro mudou minha forma de ver o mundo é enfrentar minha mente. Esse livro é o máximo