Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues

Full disclosure, I have been an adherent of lessons gained from Stanford Business School's Interpersonal Dynamics class — widely-known as "Touchy-feely" — since I was privileged enough to take it as a student in the 1990s. And, I have been a big Carole and David fan for almost as many years as a colleague, friend, and co-conspirator in spreading the word on building exceptional relationships.The challenge of capturing for the benefit of a wider audience the experiential learning essence gained from the course or related forums (e.g., Leaders in Tech's Intensive Programs & Retreats, where Carole is a Co-founder) seemed not just daunting, but near impossible. But after reading CONNECT, it's abundantly clear that Carole and David have found ways to make accessible to all the core tenets of their life's work. Though clear presentation of frameworks and guidelines; powerful anecdotes; exemplary, thought-provoking storytelling; and essential exercises that help a reader put into practice what the authors espouse, the magic that has generated relational epiphanies for so many Touchy-feely participants over the years is there for the realizing.Feedback is a gift? Yes, indeed! And so are David Bradford and Carole Robin for sharing their wisdom and insights with all of us in CONNECT. As you already no doubt surmise, I strongly recommend this book for anyone in search of greater interpersonal effectiveness.

I was already a Carole Robin fan, but I was skeptical that all she has to teach could somehow be condensed into a book. I was completely wrong -- this is a powerful book. It manages to summarize a host of important concepts around how to access and communicate feelings, how to build and strengthen relationships, and how to use those skills to be more influential and effective. The book bring these concepts alive with stories and scenarios, and shows how they can be applied to both professional and personal life.I've used the concepts in these books and they've had a hugely positive impact on my life. Through some of my toughest times, they've helped me understand and process my feelings, and become vulnerable with family and friends in a way that felt safe and brought me closer to them. They've also helped me build stronger working relationships, demonstrating the power of vulnerability even in a professional setting. And that's coming from someone who just a few years ago would've thought it was crazy to talk about my feelings at work.It's rare that a book has the potential to be transformative and life-changing, and I'd put this book in that category.

Bradford and Robin's Connect provides readers with a framework to enhance relationships with just about anyone. The book starts with the basics, defining what exactly deepens relationships (making yourself known) and detailing how to start doing so (15% rule). The meat of the book focuses on making the most out of very ordinary relationship matters: engaging others, dealing with emotion, providing feedback, breaking stalemates, and resolving conflict, and channeling these efforts towards richer relationships rather than damaged ones.To make things easier to understand, the authors employ fictional characters with their own unique relational conflicts and walk the reader through the stages of resolution. Acknowledging that situations are not always perfect, however, the book also provides scenarios where the other party is unwilling to engage in a positive interaction and offers ways to deal with such cases.Each chapter ends with an actionable section providing things to try with a select few relationships you want enhanced, which the book asks you to identify from the start. I wasn't able to make the most out of this, unfortunately.Despite not having the chance to immediately apply learnings at the end of each chapter, my takeaways from Connect have allowed me to reframe my interactions with others (stay on my side of the net) and reap the benefits of more productive interactions. Not everyone will be as receptive as the fictional characters in the book, of course, but most interactions will have room for application.Connect affords readers a piece of the learnings from GSB's Interpersonal Dynamics course, from which it is based, and offers a change in mindset well worth the time and effort for a read or two (making use of actionable sections the second time around).

This is such a great book. I still pick it up and read random sections to refresh my memory and re-energize me to connect with others

I'm the CEO of a fast growing venture backed company ($100M raised) and I was struggling with burnout, feeling lonely and wanting to achieve another level of effectiveness as a leader. Carole's work was transformative for me. I discovered that being the invincible "super" CEO who had all the answers was holding me back. I learned the immense power of vulnerability and human connection. Thanks to her work, my effectiveness as a CEO has dramatically increased. From the executives I can now recruiting and retain to the way I can now lead the entire company through challenging times, my approach to leadership has been transformed. And on a personal level, I don't experience the burnout and loneliness that I did before. Obviously still a challenging job that has its days, but on the whole I'm much more happy and fulfilled than I was before. I highly recommend this book to any individual who wants to do real work in there life to become a more effective and less lonely human. But know that its hard work and it doesn't come overnight.