Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

Here's an e-mail that I sent to Eva when my husband, an Aspie, and I were halfway through her book! We love her book. She liked my e-mail and asked permission to use it on her Facebook page, which I gladly gave, so I thought I'd post it here too. :)Excerpt of an e-mail from me to Eva:"We are happy to hear back from you! We are both reading your book now. :) We bought 2 copies of it, one for each of us! We love your book!!! It arrived a few days ago. We are both nearly halfway through it.We relate to a lot of what you're saying in your book (I kept writing "Yes!) in the margins of my copy :) ), both in your case studies that you describe, and in the more general dynamics of an Aspie/NS couple. Love the fact that you use the term NS, too... I always disliked the term Neurotypical as I feel like it implies that the Aspie is this weird non-normal person and the NS person is a typical normal person who doesn't have any issues of their own!! Which is not true!!I appreciate your point that every Aspie is unique and that you cannot rule out Asperger's based on one or two facts or characteristics. My husband does remember my birthday and usually buys me flowers for it, however, when I recently graduated, he said very neutrally that he "didn't want to make the drive [to attend my graduation ceremony] because it was kind of a long drive." I was devastated. I have of course attended all of his graduations since the time that I have known him. I don't think he had any idea why his reaction was so hurtful to me, even though I tried to explain it (being so emotional, I probably didn't do the greatest job of explaining it to him!!!).My husband also LOVES hugs which is a huge relief to me since I love hugs too and there is enough deprivation from my perspective in my marriage without being deprived of hugs too. I think some Aspie's don't like physical affection much?Even since we bought your book and have been reading it, I have noticed some improvement in the way that my husband has been relating to me on a daily basis, which is very encouraging. I am giving him lots of positive feedback. We agree with the assertion that you made several times in your book about it being important to work with a therapist who has experience and expertise in Asperger's specifically. The typical approaches to counseling therapy haven't worked for us at all. I am excited to work with you! My husband is a very good man and loves me very much and is very motivated to change to save our marriage, which he wants to keep.We would like to schedule some sessions with you. We'll touch base with you again and we'll have finished reading your book by then, too. :)"

Holy cow finally!!!! Someone gets the struggle. My guy doesn’t want to admit he has this but I found this helpful to see it from a clinical perspective instead of being emotionally injured by his quirky ways.

This book is very helpful in explaining to the spouse who has Asperger's Syndrome and the one who does not know the basics of the thinking and functioning in each person's mind and the practical outcomes both good and bad from each person's thoughts and speech. If one or both spouses are determined to get to the root of what makes each other tick then this book has helped people we know in their marital and non marital relationships. It will help to reread the book when so many puzzle pieces are present that are pieced together that shows what you think and do is not irrational. Practical solutions are offered and each person can choose to apply which one applies to your relationship situation.

Alright so my fiance had Asperger's and was diagnosed but he would never admit it to me. The best advice I have in that situation was to leave the more books I read the more I realized I want more out of life than the same three restaurants (bars) and all his contingencies and verbal abuse. I think it's the best most difficult choice I've ever made while I realize this book is for a different purpose it made me realize how alone I was. Kids and pets weren't even a option here was too rough with fragile things I'd venture to say abusive. His disconnect with other people made him uncomfortable enough to have substance abuse issues. If this sounds like something you're going through you deserve to be happy. Now I can go out in public and not worry about my boyfriend getting trashed and making a scene. It's wonderful things couldn't be better and this book helped me very too where I am.

This book really helped me feel like I am not crazy. I am very open minded and optimistic about my significant other being undiagnosed level 1. Everything this book says, makes sense of my relationship concerns. I now have better ways to communicate and move forward.

While this book has good information, I found the switching of he and she so confusing. It was really hard to go back and forth. I had to really focus on whether she was talking about the NT partner or AS partner. I know the author was trying to be inclusive of both men and women having AS but I found it extremely off putting and it made it really hard to figure out who was who. Maybe it's just me, as nobody else has mentioned it. I have never had this problem with any other books of this nature and subject. I also found the scenarios were not the best way for me to learn. I like straight up how to do things rather than reading personal stories of the couples she presented. This author is highly respected in the AS community and I have really enjoyed her articles. I just had so much trouble with the way the AS and NT partner were identified. I had to stop, think, really focus... OK now who has AS each time she referred to a particular situation. It just made it that much more challenging in an already difficult subjectmatter. I didn't dislike the book. I just found it really hard to focus when I was having trouble figuring out which partner she was referring to.

I had a suspicion that my spouse had ASD and this book breaks down a lot of the feelings and thoughts that both parties might be going through. It provides some helpful tips and tricks and provides an understanding of what ASD is all about.

I read this book because my husband is on the autism spectrum (Aspergers). I loved how this book was written for the non-doctoral reader and I could easily understand the concepts discussed. The author included examples of the suggestions and ideas in practice and how they worked for other couples. I certainly learned a lot and I will be utilizing this information to help my husband, myself, and our marriage.